Glasshouse

Ted

Teddy Stark couldn't sleep. It was so late that the sun had gone down already and the dark waters of Loch Ness far beneath his window had turned even darker than usual. He was very tired, yes, but the silence and his thoughts kept him up. When he had first started Hogwarts, sharing a dorm with four other, snoring boys had been quite the thing to get used to. Teddy had never had to share a room before and all the noises had been strange and unfamiliar. Simultaneously, Hogwarts had been too quiet in other areas. Yes, it had meant an incredible freedom and an amazing camaraderie between him and the other kids now staying so close together, but Teddy had never felt so alone. For as long as he could remember, home had always been filled with laughter, warm scents and so much love, it felt like a separate entity. He couldn't remember life before Emmy made him a big sister and the noisy babies had just kept coming. And so had the cousins. And aunts and uncles dropping by. Yes, they all wrote to him constantly, but it never felt quite right. And he had always felt like a bit of a baby himself, for getting that much post. The other students didn't. No one really bullied Teddy, he was actually quite popular, but he also knew others thought he was a bit spoiled. His family always showered him with love and presents and he dutifully and happily sent a reply each time. He didn't think he was too close to his family, but he didn't want people making fun of him either, so he had tried to cut back a little. His family, though, kept writing and Teddy loved them all too much to say something, even if he felt a little wrapped up at times.

Then, out of nowhere, his Mum had died. Teddy was at school, hadn't seen her in almost a month and... she was just gone. Grandma Andromeda had come to get him and he just... couldn't understand. He had been allowed to stay with his family for a week. For the funeral. But exams were looming and soon he had been back into his old routine. People stopped treating him like glass again and it had been easy. To pretend. To forget that Mum would not be waiting for him to come back home. That they wouldn't share cocoa again while watching the sun set outside. That she wouldn't be there to just... understand. Understand him. Understand his Dad. Understand everything. Because Mum ALWAYS understood.

Then he had come home for the summer.

And here he was. Three days into his summer holiday and feeling like his whole world was crashing down around him. He was home, but... home wasn't. Mum was gone. She had taken everything with her that had been normal in their house and there was no pretending. Aunts and uncles dropped by every day, helping out with the little ones. Cooking. Cleaning. But it just felt so, so wrong.

Emmy had been so excited to join him at Hogwarts, now she spent most of the day hiding behind a bush in the garden, reading a book. Jimmy and Alec, both normally so full of energy and pure chaos, walked quietly, like they were afraid to disturb the house itself. Lily clung to Grandma Molly, who arrived when Dad had to leave for work and only left after dinner. And Teddy found himself standing in the middle of it all, unsure of what his role now was. He was a big brother, through and through. And he had always loved it. He and Emmy were close enough in age that he couldn't really remember a time without her. Often, when people heard that he was the oldest amongst his siblings and cousins, they told him things like: "That's quite the responsibility!" And Teddy never got that. Once he actually responded: "Why? I'm still one of the kids." That had gotten him strange looks, but really: What were they saying? What exactly was his responsibility here? Well, he always felt it was his job to show Jimmy where Grandma was hiding the cookies or Emmy when their Dad was distracted enough that he would basically allow anything, without much thinking about it. Being a big brother meant having lots of fun, making your brothers and sisters laugh or occasionally helping them out of their own jams, because really, they got into enough trouble without his help.

None of that felt like a tough job to Teddy. But right now, none of these things were needed, either. And Teddy didn't know what to do or how to act. A quiet noise outside his door alerted Teddy and he jumped up from his cushion on the floor and hurried back to bed. Maybe his Dad had come to check on him and even though he didn't have to be in bed, it felt right either way.