Part 1

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"Welcome to Wanmin resturaunt! food made by yours truly! Xiangling! 

"Xiangling, we have a more popular fatui coming over, you should take his order."

Xiangling: "Fatui you say? I'm on my way!"

Xiangling walks over to the table. "Hello, welcome to wanmin restaurant, what would you like?" 

Xiangling: "Hello, welcome to wanmin restaurant, what would you like?"

Childe smiles straight at her while Xiangling looks down at a piece of paper to write down the order on.

Childe: "I would like noodles"

Xiangling slumps down.

Xiangling: Jesus, not you again, you don't know how to eat with chopsticks you disabled pig.

Childe: It'll be okay because I have my baby Zhongli to help me fufu

Xiangling: SCRAM PEST, if you want food, you gotta master the chopsticks.

Childe: I will drown Liyue again Xiangling, give. me. food.

Childe grabs his bow about to shoot Xiangling.

Xiangling: Okay! I'll give you food! just put the bow down.

Childe: Now give me noodles, WITHOUT chopsticks

Xiangling: THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT TO USE!? A FORK?

Childe: Yes, please

Xiangling: Well too bad! I don't have any. But I do have a certain geo archon who can feed you..

Childe: Geo Archon..? Zhongli Sensei?!

Xiangling: YES ZHONGLI

Childe: WHERE WHERE

Xiangling: I was joking!

Zhongli: What

Childe: Zhongli Sensei!

Xiangling: No! why are you here all of a sudden! I was joking! and plus, your too poor to even buy your own chopsticks!

Childe: Zhongli sensei please feed me~

Xiangling: No, I was joking about the noodles, we don't have any- we do have soup though, and we also have the PERFECTLY FINE SPOONS YOU CAN USE TO EAT BY YOURSELF

Childe: I'll shoot you Xiangling.

Zhongli: calm down, Childe

Xiangling starts to sweat and gets nervous because Childe is being a scary big man bitch.

Childe: tch, saved by the Archon.

Xiangling: keep an eye on Childe please, Zhongli

Zhongli: sorry Xiangling, it won't happen again.

Childe: So you want to feel the wrath of my water whale?

Xiangling: Childe is the one who needs to apologize.

Zhongli: Childe...

Childe: but Zhongli sensei-

Xiangling: If you don't you'll be kicked from my restaurant.

Zhongli: Childe you've done it once, don't do it again.

Xiangling folds her arms

Xiangling: waiting...

Childe hugs Zhongli

Childe: but she won't give me food!

Zhongli: If you say sorry, she might reconsider

Xiangling: YOU ASSAULTED ME AT MY OWN RESTAURANT.

Zhongli: Xiangling, you should calm down too-

Childe: SO?!

Xiangling: I WILL BAN YOU

Childe sighs

Xiangling: now apologize.

Childe: I'm-

Xiangling: hmph.

Childe: I'm sorry, Xiangling, do not cook me in your oven.

Xiangling: that's what I thought, you can have your noodles now AND EAT THEM BY YOURSELF.

Childe: B-

Zhongli: Childe...

Xiangling: I'll be getting those noodles now

Childe: Zhongli sensei I can't eat with chopsticks though...

Xiangling: I'll get you a fork for god's sake.

Xiangling goes to the kitchen

Xiangling: If they keep this up they'll be kicked out.

*Outside*

Childe: Hey Zhongli Sensei~

Zhongli: yes, Childe?

Childe: Turn around and count to 100!

Zhongli: Alright then...

Childe: yay!

In the Kitchen again

Xiangling finishes cooking the noodles and puts them in a wooden bowl then adds a fork.

Childe: Oh Xiangling~

Xiangling: eh? whos there

Childe: Boo!

Xiangling: AA what are you doing in the Kitchen?!

Childe grabs his bow

Childe: Don't turn around yet sensei~

Xiangling: what are you doing-

Childe: time for your death bitch.

*Zhongli waiting to turn around*

Xiangling: *I'm a dead man*

Childe: death by bow or melee weapon? You're going to hell and not coming back!

Childe walks up to her and puts a sword by her throat

Xiangling: are you jealous of me?

Childe: shut up bitch

Zhongli turns around

Hu Tao, do you know where Childe went?

Hu Tao: Kitchen.

Zhongli: runs to Kitchen

Childe: May the cryo archon forgive you.

Zhongli: Childe-

Childe freezes

Xiangling: Help.. Please...



There will be a part 2 of this coming out only if this story goes popular, this is a story that I and my friends made up while roleplaying. thank you for reading this. 

- The Writer




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⏰ Last updated: May 21, 2021 ⏰

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