Angst with big Q (I've taken out the dancing part and replaced it with either more angst or fluff)
{Rewritten <3}
Your POV
It was a late cold winter night in January, again without Alex cause he had to stream. I get it but he has streamed 4 days in a row now, leaving me to fend for my self in out empty cold house even without furniture. We moved in about 1 week ago. Alex actually promised we could do something today but he had to cancel so he could stream with his friends.
I felt like a burden to him whenever I ask him to spend time with him cause all I feel him doing is roll his eyes and make empty promises. I struggle with my anxiety a lot so I feel the thoughts unlovingly slide back into my head and try to get me down again, I was doing do good but now its all 'He Hates me doesn't he?' or 'am I really that much of a failure?' or even 'am I that hard to love?' I use crying as my coping mechanism so I just start bawling.
Alex's POV
I feel so bad for just ignoring Y/N's requests but I'm behind on my streams and I have to make it up to twitch. I begin just longing after holding Y/N in my arms and just letting them free from any care in the world. I know she has bad anxiety but they're battling it well so I hope they can be alone for a little longer.
I shut off stream for the night, I looked at my phone 3:56am god I'm such a horrible boyfriend I walk out in the kitchen and that's when I hear faint crying and my stomach drops. I almost sprint to them and I just hold them tight.
"What's wrong Y/N..?" they just continue crying and I try again "Y/N answer me please.." They ignored my concern, I mean they have a lot of rights to do that but it still hurt seeing the person I love the most cry and not being able to do a single thing.
"Y/N what's wrong..?" I tried asking them again but no answer. "Y/N! Tell me what's wrong?!.." I raise my voice, I know I shouldn't raise my voice but its getting frustrating not being able to help them. They Flinched and I knew I've done a lot of things wrong.
Your POV
He had no right to raise his voice at me, I mean I get it I am a burden but come on. "stop shouting, you'll wake our nice neighbors..." I whisper "ARE YOU SERIOUS Y/N?! THAT'S WHAT YOUR WORRIED ABOUT!?" He yells. I wrap a blanket around myself and just leave the bedroom and hurry to the guest bedroom where I lock the door.
It suddenly dawned on him, it was your 2½ year anniversary day. He completely forgot the most important thing to me. This relationship wasn't going to last if this was what it was going to be. A boyfriend who is busy 24/7 with his twitch streaming and his mere lover who is waiting for him but to no avail.
"Y/N.." i can hear him slump down at the door and just start crying too. "I'm so so so sorry, i got carried away with stream i forgot what day it was.." he regret dripped from his tone, he almost made me feel bad but he was the one who forgot the anniversary. "Please let me in or come out.."
Alex's POV
I tried the door again but with no luck, I know I messed up I just need them to open the door so i can make it up to them. "Y/N I beg of you.." I try one last time. as I'm about to give up i heard the lock click. its unlocked.
I slowly open the door as not to startle them in any way. I see them sobbing on the guest room floor, it pains me so much. I cant imagine how horrible they must've felt today. I walk over to them and pick them up. The room was dark and filled with sobs, gasps for air, and emptiness.
"Alex we cant keep doing this.." they whispered to me, my expression was filled with sadness and dread, they were going to leave me, I was certain of it. "please.. no no no no.." I began begging "stay with me please.. I promise you this, I'll always look out for you, that's what I'll do..."
"Alex no.." They look at me with that caring look in their eyes. "I'll stop streaming if you stay.." they let out a saddened giggle "Alex.. I know you love streaming.. don't stop cause of me.." They cuddle up in my arms "I'm Already gone.. I love you Alex, I always have and I always will.."
I wake up in cold sweat
Today is 6 years since they was killed on her job , I cant believe they're gone. I miss them so much, I have the same reoccurring dream or I guess nightmare about the fight we had before she was called in on a case and killed.. I haven't moved on and its still hard stream. I think its gotten better.
---------------------------------
Holy shit i did it, that ending part wasn't planned but sorry you died- also managed to throw a little criminal minds reference in for my own satisfaction. <3 take care-Angel
