Okay. [ErenXReader] [SNK+TFIOS]

Okay.

I believe we have a choice in this word –about how to tell sad stories…

      I was only seventeen, and he was the star-crossed love of my life. At first, he was just a dude in counseling – lost his leg in action. He was saving his best friend, and for that, of course I admired him – at least a little. I never thought I’d get to know him. I never thought we’d fall in love. I never thought we’d go outside the walls together.
      We hadn’t defeated the titans just yet, but we both had the same passion for the outside world – even though neither of us had ever seen it. We both felt entitled to it; we’d earned seeing the outside just by being here, somehow. So, after reclaiming Trost, while everyone was celebrating, we snuck out; we used our maneuver gear to climb the walls, and we were out. At first, we didn’t know what to look for, or how much time we had before someone noticed our absence. So, we settled on a fertile, grassy hill in a clearing, so that we could simply enjoy each other’s company and view the stars as they shined against the inky horizon.
      He laid down on the grass first, waving me down as I shyly snuggled next to him, his arm wrapping securely around me. A blush dusted over my cheeks. We looked up at the stars, occasionally peeking at the other person and giggling when we accidently made eye-contact. We stayed like this for a while, simply gazing up at the sky, until he broke the silence.
“[F/N]? I, uh… I have something I need to tell you.”
      He sounded like having to tell me whatever he needed to say shattered his heart; hurt was laced deeply into his deep voice. I pinned myself up on my elbow and looked into his glowing eyes. I still didn’t know what color they were. I tried to find comfort in not having a time limit on that. Well, I hoped there wasn’t.
“Yesterday, Corporal Levi called me into his office…”
      I took a deep breath and shut my eyes tightly for a moment before motioning for him to continue.
“I’m needed on an expedition. I have eight days until we leave… I-I’m so sorry.”
      On my last mission, I was injured – bad. I was smacked by a titan into the woods, where I hit a tree, and got the wind knocked out of me. When I came back, our medics came to the conclusion that I’d ruptured my bronchi. I was on oxygen for now, until surgery could become an option – as we did not have the equipment. This condition prevented me from going with him, and he knew I hated him leaving me alone. I hated goodbyes, especially when they could be final.
“Eren… I hate… g-goodbyes.. You know-“
      He abruptly and gently raised his tanned finger to my lips, hissing a soft, “shh,” to stop me from talking. Words bring tears. He knows that. I was already crying, and he was already wiping the wave of tears that came rushing down my cheeks and dropping onto the grass with the pads of his thumbs.
“Then don’t say goodbye. Okay?”
“Okay…”

      On that day, he left while I was asleep, so I wouldn’t have to say goodbye. He left me a note.

Dear [F/N],
      You and I both know I might not make it back. Maybe I won’t, but maybe I will. I wanted to write you a note to hold close to that heart of yours in case I do something stupid. I mean, I’m a good person, but a shitty writer. I need some flare, so please cut me some slack.
      First of all, you’re beautiful. I never have gotten tired of looking at you. I know you don’t get tired of looking at me (I see you staring at my eyes, [F/N]. I don’t know what color they are either), and I don’t mind. Don’t worry if you’re smarter than anyone in our whole camp or even the whole world, I and everyone else know you are. I love you. God, I love you; I’m so lucky to love you. I know we don’t get a choice in whether or not we get hurt in this world, but you have a choice in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope you like yours, too.
      Okay, [F/N]?
- Eren

      I received word that night that he was killed in action. I cried. A lot. It hurt. A lot. I want him back. The other soldiers want me back, but I can’t bring myself to talk to anyone, now. I want to talk about how much his death hurt, but the only person I want to talk about the death of Eren Jaeger with is Eren Jaeger.
      I went to that hill we went to that one night; I laid down in the same spot I had then, longing for his warmth and his eyes to stare at. I pulled out the letter and reread it again and again. Finally, when my eyes had blurred with tears, I lowered the paper. I stared up into the same shining stars, and I laid like this for a while.

“…Okay, Eren.”