Grimmjow’s P.O.V
I couldn’t believe that I said that. What was I thinking, saying that I loved her? I don’t even know what love is. “Because you do love her, Grimmjow” my panther said. I rolled my eyes and let out a low, soft growl. I was trying not to wake up Harley. She was still sleeping, which was good. After the day that she had yesterday, she deserved it. And not only that, but it felt good having her in my arms.
“But how can I honestly know that I love her if I don’t really know what love is? I’ve never experienced it before” I asked. It was true; I don't know what love really is. I never experienced it before and everyone who ever said that they loved someone I would always laugh at and called them weak. Love is the weakest emotion that anyone could have, especially me. I’m the 6th Espada of Sosuke Azien’s army. I’m bloodthirsty, cold, heartless, and I’m the most selfish person in the world. My panther shook his head back and forth. I could see the slight smirk playing on his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him, growing frustrated.
“Yes you’ve never experienced what love is, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love someone. Let me ask you this, Grimmjow. How do you feel about Harley?” I thought about my panther’s question for the longest time. I knew deep down how I felt about Harley, but it was so hard and frustrating to put those feelings into words. To be honest I didn’t think that there were even enough words to say how I feel about her, or even the right ones. My lips parted slightly, a heavy sigh escaping them. I guess I should at least try and explain to him how I feel about her. Maybe he could help me figure it out since I had no clue what the hell these feelings were. I didn’t even know I really had any feelings for anyone but myself. Well that is until I met Harley.
“She’s different, more different than anyone I have ever met. Usually when I’m attracted to a woman, I take them immediately and use them until I’m done with them. I don’t care about their feelings, if I hurt them or not, and I don’t care about them in general. I just care about me and my needs. But with Harley it’s different. With her I care. I care about hurting her, I care about what she thinks with me, I care about her feelings, and I always try and put her needs before mine. She makes me happy. I don’t feel like I always have to fight someone to prove my point. And I don’t feel like I have to be coldhearted and bloodthirsty all the time. I feel like I can be myself without being those things.” I paused, giving myself a breather. I could go on and on about how I feel about Harley. It’s a never ending list with her and how she makes me feels. But I know that my panther would get tired of it. So I shortened things. “Anyways to get to my point so you don’t have to continue to hear me talk nonstop about her and how she makes me feel, I feel complete with Harley. I feel at home with her” I finished.I lay there, waiting. I was waiting for my panther to say something, to say anything; seconds past, then minutes. I was growing tired of waiting. Usually he has something to say as soon as I finish talking, so what was so different now? “Damnit will you fucking say something??” I yelled. My panther let out a chuckle. “What’s so damn funny?” I asked. He was really getting on my damn nervous.
“You answered your own question, Grimmjow. The one where you asked how could you love her if you don’t know what love is” he replied. I growled in frustration.
“I don’t fucking have time for riddles, Pantera!” I said in anger. He knows that he shouldn’t piss me off or use riddles with me. He knows that I really, really hate riddles. And he knows that when I call him by his name that my patience is running thin. Pantera let out a heavy sigh.
“Sometimes I question your intelligence, Grimmjow.” I let out a threatening growl. “Let me finish, would you” he said, speaking before I had time to say anything to what he just said. “As I was saying, it wasn’t a riddle that I gave you. I just said that you answered your own question. Yes, you may not have experienced love before so you don’t really know what love is. To be honest with you, no one really knows what love is until they experience it for themselves. But the way you explained Harley and how she makes you feel answered your question. Deep down, Grimmjow, you do love Harley. You just don’t want to admit it” Pantera explained. My lips parted to say something, but I didn’t say anything at all. I don’t even think that I could even if I wanted because to be honest with you I didn’t know what to say. His words have some truth in it, even though I didn’t want to admit it, especially to him.
