Love and Pain

Chapter 1- Sour Love

I have always had issues with all this moving in the past five years. I have gone to three middle schools, five high schools and six failed relationships. Mom continued to move because dad would always find her no matter where we went. Dad was a drug addict and mom wanted to keep the faith as a Christian woman but it was hard to. I was the only child that came out alive from all the ordeals. I could remember mom being pregnant 3 times after I was born, but a few mishaps with dad and they just disappeared. I was too young to understand but I could vividly remembered seeing numerous cuts on mom's body.

It was not all sunshine for me; I had to hide myself under the bed at times. when the beating for mom wasn't enough, he turned on me to finish the task. Mom wouldn't allow that so she would jump on his back in his pursuit of getting me. Saved by the bell at times, the neighbor's would come over to enquire and it would stop for awhile. Mom was terrified of him despite sleeping in the same bed at nights. I could not understand them both at times because they would fight and in a few hours they would be kissing. Is that what love about? I pondered.

I knew my mom was not happy as I wasn't either. I had committed the perfect murder of my father in my mind so many times; it would have been his fifth memorial by now. I hated his guts and I just could not stand the mere look of him. Many nights I cried and ask why I was given such a rootless father. In the house we cried more than we laugh. We ran more than we dance, we hide more than we seek and we were bruised more than we healed.

Sundays for us in the house should have been a day for rice and peas with chicken, but rather belt, broom stick and punches. Dad did not provide enough money for mom to prepare a great meal but it was expected of her to. Family time was nonexistent and I could not focus at all in school. I knew school was important but only mom saw that. She helped in whatever way she could but it was not enough.

I haven't figured out what kind of work my father did. He would just leave in the day time and returned in the nights with his problems. I could sense him coming from three houses away. The rum on his clothes was so harsh you could smell it from a mile. I figured he could read as he drank so much he must knew what is written on the bottles. I wanted some help with my reading assignment so I decided to ask him. I rather not based on the staggering walk he is making it would only get things worst.

I was 10 years old and to get away from the drama most of the times I would go to my neighbor's house. The only reason for me going was that I had a girlfriend there. I knew she was my girlfriend but I wasn't ready to tell her she was. The way she let me play with her video game I knew she had a crush on me for sure. Kayla was her name and she was 20 years old. She was bigger than I was but I didn't care she loved me despite. She worked at the community supermarket and I could guarantee every month I would get my sweets. It tasted a bit funny than normal but it's the thought that counts. I would write her love letters and put it under her door. I never got a response from any of them, but her mom keeps looking at me in a funny way whenever i go over. I usually pondered what her problem is.

Those moments were the only happy
in my life until I figured the letter I was delivering was going under her mom's door. I was banned from going over there but she could not stopped me from going to the fenced line and talk to Kayla.