Last Impact

Chapter 1

Looking only ahead, gazing over the red tainted sea hurling itself softly up on the white sand. A gust flew by throwing the sand up my dirty jeans, they were a light gray from all the sun damage from drying them outside these past months. I almost didn't feel my legs moving under me if it weren't for all the sand pouring in my shoes for every step.
The giant head in the sea grew larger the closer I got, you could never guess how big it actually was from a distance, it always seemed to be way bigger when you came closer.
When I was close enough to see the individual bodies pouring out the wounds of the cracked face I took off my sandy trainers and started walking through the cold water towards the head, when the water was up to my chest I was close enough to grab the hair and pull myself up on the halved head. Limbs and faces resembling hers were intertwined, some of the faces smiled, some had expressions more like hers, that is to say no expressions.
Everyday I come here separating the Rei bodies trying to find a semblance to her, something that told me she was in there. I've found pretty peculiar ones in the bunch, one smiling intently, it had an almost murderous look on it, still smiling when I threw it down the water to sink to the bottom. A pair were embracing each other tightly, refusing to separate when I was pulling them into the water. If it was an actual act of love I wouldn't be able to tell, as they didn't seem to be conscious.
I grabbed an arm and like string cheese I separated a body from the rest, looking into its face as I threw it overboard, it sank, like all the rest. Looking back I saw another face, it was a smiling one. I started pulling another one up when I saw its eyes were moving. They usually look into nothingness or just have their eyes closed, this one was looking at me. I started digging it up, moving away limbs and empty faces, I finally managed to pull it up, unlike all the others it stood up by itself.
"...Rei?" My voice was shaky.
"Don't be stupid." it muttered back, its face was emotionless now.
I shattered, at least it was another conscience to talk to, I tried to comfort myself.
I took a deep breath, grabbing it's hand before hopping down into the water and dragging it to the beach. I put my wet feet in my sand filled shoes, dragging the Rei lookalike after me.

After a while were we at the train station, it was giant but very run down, making it not even half the size it was before the impact, miraculously, some of the trains still worked, I walked in through a hole in the wall, almost all the doors were either rusted over or were blocked by rubble.
I nodded to a shadowy figure standing by the controls, he was one of them who rejected instrumentality. I wonder how that happened, he didn't know anything of what was happening, maybe he had nothing else to desire, maybe desire seemed completely useless to him without life.
I stepped onto the train, he knows where I want to go, I take this train everyday, usually a little bit later in the night, just now the sun is setting, coloring the sky sickly purplish. I sit down, my white shirt is slightly see-through from the dampness, the fabric will turn coarse and thick from all the saltwater once it dries. I don't care to tuck it into my pants anymore and I only button the three buttons in the middle. The train started moving, I held the Rei tight in its hand so it didn't fall or run away, it just stood there, staring at me.

A few hours later, it was entirely dark. I haven't talked to the Rei the entire trip, even though it was staring the entire trip.
"Our stop is in a few minutes." It felt weird talking to it, is it even conscious?
"You know you won't be able to pull her out in one piece right?" The talking caught me off guard, "She's diluted." it kept talking. "All those pieces you've been throwing into the water all had her in it, she's not one of them, she's all of them."
Of course, I suspected that already, I guess this is my sign to stop digging.
"Why are you conscious then? Why aren't the rest like you?"
"If you were to blend a pinch of salt in a bowl of sugar would it always blend entirely evenly?" It responded just as emotionless like Rei would. I pulled the emergency brake, the train halted and a few metres forward it stopped, grabbing the Rei by the wrist, I jumped out the doors and I started walking towards a few run down apartments.

I opened the door, walking down to the basement, I opened the door to a storeroom, it was the only place that didn't risk falling in on itself. Inside was Asuka sitting on the floor, like always, it seems like whatever I feed her she always seems to be so fatigued.
"Don't glare at me like that, I'm not useless." She looked up haphazardly, her eyes were glazed over but it didn't seem like she had been crying.
"You brought one home?" She said while lowering her head again.
"It's different, it seems to have a conscience."
"Damnit Shinji, I told you going there is a waste of time, what are we even going to do with it?"
I felt my throat tighten, why was I walking there everyday? to find an ounce of someone that's not here anymore? I already gave up on finding anyone else, it's like the giant face is taunting me. Sometimes it feels like the face isn't even supposed to resemble Rei, they're very alike after all.