I'll always be with you

Chapter 1

A/N: It takes place in Sanctum, and I wrote in Lexa's perspective.

I wake up after a dream I had about Clarke showing me a lovely flower field. She held my hand while looking back at me and running through that wonderful landscape. I open my eyes and see Clarke sleeping next to me, with her face turned to the other side. I didn't really want to wake her up, but her blonde hair was so beautiful and soft. I run my hand through her hair and Clarke shivered as I accidentally touch her neck. I quickly take my hand back, in case she didn't like me to touch her hair. Because I usually don't like it when someone messes up my braids. 'That was nice Lexa, don't stop.' A smile appeared on my face, even though she couldn't see it. I doubtfully move my hand towards her. Clarke moved her head closer, allowing me to touch her hair again.

'Clarke can I ask you something? If we get Russel to trust us, are we going to stay here? Or are we...'
'Sshhh, stop talking Lexa, I don't want to think about that right now.'
She tries to turn around but the blanket we share got her all wrapped up. I laugh softly, not in a mean way, just to be playful. I pull her towards me and she got out of the blanket. She stares right into my eyes, which I like, her eyes are so pure and it looks like the open ocean I saw one time. Staring at her beautiful face, makes me realize how lucky I am that she is mine, Clarke should know how much I love her.

'I love you Clarke,' I say while still looking into her blue eyes. Suddenly I realize what I had said. Fuck, maybe she isn't ready yet. What if she doesn't say it back to me. Shit shit shit shit. I open my mouth to break the silence we have created, but I'm not sure what I want to say. Clarke moves her head forwards to kiss me, she connects our lips together. I am not really sure what she thinks about me saying 'I love you'. But I decide to kiss her back.

Clarke moves her leg around my waist to get on top of me. I shiver when I feel the touch of her leg touching mine. She breathes heavily and the words 'I love you too, Lexa.' slips out of her mouth. I feel a wave going through my spine of excitement. Thank god, she loves me back. She moves her hand onto my cheek. Feeling her, just feeling Clarke makes me want to give my life to her. I would do anything for her, anytime.

Clarke is still on top of me, I am ready to make the next move, but suddenly we hear knocking on our bedroom door. In the same second Raven walks in. Clarke immediately gets off me and hides herself under the blanket. 'God Raven, if you knock on a door you are supposed to wait until someone says come in, not just walk in.' Clarke says with an annoyed voice. 'Clarke, I don't think you would've wanted me to wait, I heard a loud bang coming from your moms room. I went to look, your mom is laying on the floor, she passed out and I think she overdosed on her medicine. You really need to come please.' Raven started talking faster every word she said. Clarke's smile quickly fades and she gets out of bed fast. Raven turns around while wiping of a tear off her cheek.

I quickly put on my ripped jeans I got from Jordan's girlfriend Delilah. I actually don't feel comfortable in this kind of clothes coming from Diyoza's generation. But I decide to just go with this and run after Clarke and Raven. I see Clarke going in a room at the end of the hallway.

I follow Clarke as she slides on her knees in next to her mom. 'No no no no, please mom wake up.' Her voice skips as she says that, exposing her cry. I am still standing in the doorway, staring at Clarke with my mouth slightly opened. I tried swallowing, but I can feel my heart beating in my throat. I know how important Abby is to Clarke, especially now that her dad unfortunately died. Clarke pulls her mom onto her lap while she moves her head towards Abby's chest to check if her heart is still beating. 'Clarke?' Raven says with a sobbing voice. Clarke shakes her head as she starts to cry. 'No, I won't accept this, I am going to get Jackson. He knows what to do.' Raven says desperately while walking out the door. 'Raven, Abby is already de-' I say doubtfully, but she was already running down the hallway.

Clarke is crying loudly while still holding her mom in her helpless arms. 'Hey hey hey, Clarke, you're okay.' I tell her while getting on my knees next to her. I pull her into my arms and lay my hand on her head as she bawls her eyes out. I've never seen her this hurt before, in fact I have never seen her cry before, except for that time she got stabbed in her leg. But seeing her hurting this way, hurts my feelings. I wish I could take her pain over. I wish I could do something to make her feel better. Her voice skips as she tries to breathe in. I feel her pain through her movements... through the way she holds me.

Costia was my first love. When she got killed, I wasn't myself anymore. All I could think about was how I was going to get over her. When I was going to be happy again. At some point I completely lost myself, I lost every inch of personality I had in me. I stopped caring about friends particularly. I only cared about my people, and how to keep them safe. Until I met Clarke I had to hide my feelings so I could convince myself that I didn't care.

The last thing I want is Clarke to feel the way I did. Thinking about Clarke going through this makes me want to cry with her right now. But I need to show her my strength, I need to show her what she is worth.

Clarke moved her head up to look at me. I look into her teary eyes while wiping her tears off her face. She turns around, trying to take a look at her mom. But seeing Abby laying dead on the floor made her hurt even more. She starts crying harder and she lays her head back on my shoulder again. 'I love you Lexa, I really do.' Clarke says while she is still sobbing. I sigh while I make her look at me. I feel my eyes tear up, I hate to see that she is upset and I love her so much. I pull her head towards me and I kiss her passionately to let her know I love her with all my heart. A tear rolls down my cheeks and Clarke pulls away my kiss for a second to look me in my eyes. 'Lexa are you crying?' 'Definitely not.' I say while giving her a sarcastic look.