Mikasa was taking a stroll in the park, admiring all the young gay men, imagining them tearing into each other, naked flesh and balls... the sweat there on their chests... their loud smacks of kissing... yaoi... it was magnificent...
"Hello, Mikasa." Armin snapped her out of her lovely fujoshi daydream. So what, if cishet women enjoyed fantasizing of gay men touching each other's rocks? She was cishet, and proud, damn it!
"Hello, Armin." She smiled kindly, "Lovely day, isn't it?" And lovely men... hehe, she thought to herself.
"Yeah, it's a perfect day. I wanted to ask you a question, Mika," something crossed his lips quickly, like a flash of light, then went away. Was it mischief? "I'd like you to assist me in trolling Kenny."
"Trolling?" Mikasa put her hand over her open laugh, one that was short lived, yet sweet in nature, "Why, women such as myself don't do trolling!"
"Be a feminist and assist me in this, Mikasa! Don't you hate him? He's an annoying old man, and probably a republican!" Armin grabbed at her shoulders, looked up at her with pleading eyes and pleading words. Perhaps Kenny was a republican...
"That is true." Mikasa looked off, unsure, to troll or not to troll, "What were you thinking?"
"Putting glue on his toilet seat. Hah, good luck getting off there!" Something lit in his eyes, a fire burning bright, a fire undying, a fire hate and sin, "Or, or, we could write letters from a distant village, plant them in his room, and make Eren believe he is cheating!" He grinned.
"That sounds far worse than a kindhearted troll, Armin... that sounds like you trying to ruin his life." Mikasa took a step backward, wincing at his sick ideas, his sick mind. Armin, he was always so sweet. What was happening in her friend's dear head?
"No, it's all just fun and games!" Armin ran up to her, this time, even closer, this time, his hold on her shoulders even tighter. Desperate. "C'mon, Mikasa, it's just a little prank, and I need your help!"
"I'm sorry, Armin, but he's Eren's boyfriend. I can't hurt him. Especially when I watch them kiss." She turned away, eyelashes fluttering. She could not do that to Kenny, no. He was a free source of yaoi!
Armin's demeanor twisted and shifted into something else. Sin, hate, madness.
"God, you're such a pussy, Mikasa!" He screamed, spat right in her face, spit tangled in her eyelashes, spit brushing at her cheek. He opened his mouth so wide, his eyes brimming with not pretty tears, but ugly hatred, pure and utter hatred. He seemed to grow in that moment, no longer shy and short, but towering, towering over her with such might. He bellowed, causing birds to flee in fear of his voice, "You fucking dyke!"
Disbelief.
"ARMIN, YOU CAN'T SAY THAT?" Mikasa was horrified at the use of the word.
Armin smiled, how twisted that smile was. "Yeah, but the author can reclaim the d-slur, so I am saying it!" Author? What? Mikasa could not sort through her confusion before he said a simple, "Bye, Mikasa. You racist lesbophobic ableist xenophobic islamophobic classist whore."
Armin would troll with or without that useless woman. Who did she think she was, declining his offer? Declining the privilege to troll by his side? Did she wish not to feel the thrill of a troll, one as magnificent as the ones born of his mind? Did she wish not to be a God compared to the victim, the trolled and poor man?
She was pitiful. Stupid. She thought Eren loved her for years, would always come to him, Armin, Eren blushed at me, Armin, Eren hugged me, Armin, Eren yelled at me, and little did she know he was gay. And through this time, as Armin was hopelessly in love with Eren, he just nodded and let her dream.
Perhaps they were both pitiful in that aspect. They both thought themselves worthy of Eren Yeager's love.
Damn it, he was about to cry. No, Armin, do not cry, he told himself, you're a God compared to these people.
A knock to the door.
He swore, if it was Marco, damn it, he would say a slur the author couldn't reclaim.
He opened it wide, about to speak in curses and hisses, when he realized. When he saw just who was at his door.
"Hey, Armin," Eren spoke so effortlessly, so perfectly, so gorgeous, oh monkey Titan, was he even real? "Just wanted to ask you something." Armin gulped, he could not stand upright in the face of such a magnificent man. Good lord, have mercy!
"Sure, you can ask me anything." He mustered up his sexiest voice, but he just sounded like that white-haired guy from Danganronpa, what's his name, that guy.
"Wanna fuck me in the ass?" Eren said with no emotion. No glint in his greying eyes.
Armin's world spun. He lost his breath, his lung's emptied as did the blood in his face. His mind wandered in circles, "Wh-What?" Is all he could say. All he could sound out.
"You heard me. Want. To. Fuck. Me. In. The. Ass." He said again. Just as nonchalant, as if this were nothing, as if sex between them was not a big deal at all. A natural thing.
"I..." Armin could not believe his eyes, his ears, his own senses seemed to betray him. This was real. This was his time. "Yes. I do." He said, as Eren's hands grabbed at his dainty waist, gave his skin a good squeeze. "But Kenny?"
"Forget that old piece of shit. I want you, baby, and only you." He gave him a wet kiss. "Tatekae in my butthole. Now."
"Mmm... yeah... let me tatekae in ya...." Armin kissed him back, just as wet. God, finally, finally...
"Armin?" Eren said, yet his mouth did not move to make these words, "Armin?"
He blinked. He was not kissing Eren. He was not in his arms. They stood apart, separated by the door frame, separated by unrequited love. Armin's mouth became sour, it had felt so real, so right. Yet it was only a madman's dream. He would never be Eren's, never.
"Um, sorry," His voice quivered, "What were you saying?"
Eren smiled, unknowing of this fantasy, unknowing of Armin's deep wants, "I was just asking you if you wanted to hangout with me and Kenny. We are gonna watch a movie." His eyes widened and lit up in such an adorable way as he recalled, "Oh, and Jean and Marco will be there, too! It'll be lots of fun."
Armin blinked back his tears. Reality was a constant reminder his dreams would never come to fruition. Reality was a cruel hand wielding scissors clipping at the tree of his desire. Clipping, clipping away at each and every one with its cold scissors.
"........Sure. I'll come." Armin breathed out, looking at the floor so Eren would not see the tears spilling out. Tears hit the wood floor with a pitter patter, dropping like marbles from his eyes, dropping, dropping so quick.
"Great. I'll see you there. In one minute." Eren shut the door, unknowing of his pain.
Each time Armin believed he was in a new era, a new state of being, a bad bitch, a God, he crumbled.
No, this time was different.
Kenny, look out, bitch, prepare to be trolled.
