After taking a small rest-stop on the stairs to Hell, you hear a faint rage as a green boy comes tumbling down.
"Oh no, Dream what happened?" You say. He looks exhausted and worn out from screaming but still, he shows no visible sign. "What happened up there?"
"Fucking Jesus Christ! He pulled that dumb f-boy face and I died a little inside." Dream yells.
"Why are you down here?"
"That little shit tossed me down the stairs after yelling 'SUCK IT GREEN BOI!'" Dream scoffed his famous scoff.
"Wait...is Wilbur Soot Jesus?"
Dream looks at you with disbelief. "How did you know? He's covered in stupid LONG cloth. Dambass is impersonating Jesus-fucking-Christ."
"I mean he did the fuck-boy face when I entered and said 'wa's poppin'."
You roll your curly eyes and contribute to Dream's stress by flipping him off and doing the f-boy face as you exit the stairwell.
——
You are greeted by the friendly face of Satan. "aye welcome to Hell! Whatcha down here for?" He asks, carrying a six-pack of gluten-free muffins.
"Idk, Wilbur Soot, the one impersonating Jesus Christ, just kinda told me I didn't fit in Heaven. Now I'm here. I did meet a green boy on the way."
"Wilbur Soot? The one that made that one song?" Satan says, humming to Your New Boyfriend by Wilbur Soot very slowly.
"Yep! That's the one!" You say, humming along. "So what do I do down here anyways?"
"Well, everyone has a gluten allergy so we can't have our famous devils food cake. Do you have a gluten allergy?" Satan whispers very, very quietly in a depe boice.
"No." You say.
"Then you'll do just terrible down here."
A/N
Hey guys! I hope you like the story so far, we are writing this for the educational values of the story itself. I hope you can take the real lesson away from this, never trust Jesus Christ/Wilbur Soot.
Please vote and share our story, we'd like it to reach the audience we intend (80-90-year-old men).
YOU ARE READING
this is purely nonfiction, we assure you this did happen and we did see it with our own eyes. She wrote this entire story while I was on vacation 😧
