He's Not Mine...yet

Chapter 4

Felicity's P.O.V

Well I don't know what's been going on lately but I found out I have feelings for Peter

It's kinda crazy but I'm falling , and I'm falling fast

Why am I waking up so earl- OMG ITS 8:00 !!! I have to get ready

I rush out of bed to get ready

Makeup concealer eyeliner and mascara .. Done

Hair .. Leave it down

Outfit Jean shorts floral crop top and some pink converse

" bye mom "

"Bye honey have a great day "

I have to walk again

" omg why is she so ugly " they say to me

I just keep walking with my head held down until I see Peter

"Hey Felicity what's.. Are you crying "

Oh crap I just realized I've been crying

"Uh .. Nope " I say wiping my tears away

"Your not a good liar Felicity "

I start crying a lot and I cry into his shoulder

" Why would they say such mean things to me "

"Who said what to you lic "

"Some girls said I was ugly on my way here and they have since I moved here "

" I'll find them and set them straight lic "

I smile and we go to class

All through algebra I can't think about anyone else but Peter

"Miss Jacobs can you tell me what x+ y is "

"What .. I don't know "

"To the office miss Jacobs "

I head to the office and I sit there until someone tells me to go

I head for my locker because it's lunch and I can't find Peter , Chloe or Jane so I get my lunch and go sit in the bathroom stall and eat
----
I just got home thinking about the horrible day I had and I thought of doing something I've never done before

Cut myself ?

I don't know why but I start searching for any sharp objects I can find until I find this really small pencil sharpener

I find a screwdriver small enough to get into it and I take out the blade

I'm a little nervous but I run it over my wrist a couple times and surprisingly it doesn't hurt that bad , but as the blood is dripping down my wrists I think of what the people I know would think about it

"They'll never find out "

I hear my house door open and realize it's my mom so I quickly get on some sweatpants and sweater on so my mom doesn't seem suspicious

"Hey honey " she says to me smiling

" Hi mom " I say smiling back

"So how was your day Felicity "

"It was good " I say fake smiling

" Well ok honey , what do you want for dinner "

"Um .. Shrimp and squid risotto I say

"Ok I'll go to the store to get the ingredients "

Since she'll be gone I decide that I may cut again

Once she leaves I go to my room and get the blade out and cut a couple more times
It bleeds and bleeds for a couple minutes
Suddenly my door opens

"Felicity ? " Peter says with shock on his face

"Um hi Peter " I say awkwardly

" Lemme see your wrists lic "

"Why "

"Because you cut them "

"I'm sorry Peter "

He starts crying and saying to me "why , why lic why "

He looks at my wrists and hugs me

He's such a great friend , but I wish he was more than that

I know that was a pretty deep and depressing chapter but I want people realize what a big problem self harm , and a message to all people who are suicidal and self harm i want to tell you that it does get better and you'll get through it , please don't self harm because it doesn't bring pain to just you It brings pain to everyone close to you . promise me you won't self harm because I want you to be happy not depressed , I hope this helped you a bit if you are depressed , everyone have a great day wherever you are

~ Kylie