[Obsession]

Follow You

The mixer is about to come to a close. I've mingled thoroughly,  with almost all but that very special one.

The one I have suddenly become enamored with.

Which of course means that I am now terrified to approach her. Let alone attempt to speak to her. I think I might combust if I tried to do that.

And its obvious she's not interested in me. She never made an attempt to approach me either --- not even as a friend or some sort of possible new acquaintance or colleague.

Which sucks.

Majorly sucks.

Why would she approach seemingly everyone but me? Has she just decided to hate me upon first sight? Or am I really just that invisible?

Could it be true that I'm as invisible and unimportant as I think I am?

I hate that I care so much about someone I've never even met. But it's like the universe is telling me that she needs someone to care about her and someone to love her.

And that I'm destined to be that person.

Which is so utterly strange. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It's an all-consuming and destructive tornado of both good and evil that's destroying every part of my life in one fell swoop.

Or so it seems.

I'm jolted out of my self-deprecating inner monologue as I hear more people filter out of the venue. I see a flash of black and dirty blonde and I notice that she is leaving. I want to follow her so badly, almost primally, but as an intelligent person, I convince myself that it would be against my better judgement. 

I wonder where she's going. I desperately want to go where she is going.

I still can't quite pinpoint what fascinates me about her so. I'm perplexed. And frustrated. And longing. And desperate.

I hate that I'm like this.

I wait five minutes, aimlessly milling around, so that it won't be obvious to other people that I'm so interested in her. 

Not like anyone really cares, but I feel like it would be noticeable. Like I'm too awkward to even be a competent human being pining over someone. Even though I have an M.D. and graduated second in my class from Johns Hopkins.

'I wonder where she went to med school...' 

'Is she going into surgery as well?' my brain drones on.

'God, I sure hope so,' I think.

That would be fate. Not that I believe in fate, but I do believe that it is my destiny to meet this girl and fall in love with her. 

I'm absolutely sure of it.