𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊?

Chapter 1

Title: Can I Have Another Quick Fuck?
Author: closet_bound
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There was a reason Draco never drank anything Harry gave him while wearing that outfit.
Warnings: silk ties, parseltounge, body shots, chocolate sauce, rimming

“A pencil!” Harry leaned back in his desk chair, the picture of confidence. Draco really wanted to say no, just to see the adorable mix of confusion and indignation that would appear on his face.

“Hardly,” Draco scoffed, inwardly grinning when a wrinkle appeared between Harry’s eyebrows and a slight frown tightened his lips. He ignored his mental Pansy, a habit by now, who was making the observation that masochism was not generally considered to be a Slytherin trait. He wanted to point out that mental voice privileges were not bestowed upon fake girlfriends but decided that restraint was the better part of sanity.

“It’s a thing,” Harry stated, looking to Draco for confirmation and waving Hermione in the open door. “It’s not alive. It’s muggle and can be used for communication. It’s not a telephone, telegraph, or computer. It’s not a television or radio. It can be used to write, and it’s not a pen or marker. If it’s not a pencil, what the bloody hell is it?”

“Give up, Potter?” Draco asked, smirking. Harry’s face was flushing a bit from the frustration. Draco reminded himself that he was not a masochist.

“Please, tell me,” Hermione interrupted with a snort, “that I have not just walked in on this department’s two top Aurors playing twenty questions.” Draco smirked. To be fair, there was no need for Harry’s guilty expression. They had never specified a number of questions. “And Harry, of course it’s a pencil, you nitwit. He’s taking the piss.”

“According to whom?” Draco asked her, adopting an air of innocence – and immediately knowing that for the mistake it was.

“Oh,” Harry said, with dawning realization. “You’re an arse.” He turned, grinning, to Hermione. “Please tell me you have something for us to do.” Harry really shouldn’t beg, at least not in public.

“Not unless the pair of you have finally decided that you would prefer not to be the furthest behind in your paperwork this quarter,” Hermione answered, crossing the room to perch on Draco’s desk. “They haven’t started awarding prizes, you know.”

“Paperwork can wait,” Harry said with a bright grin directed entirely at Draco, who promptly cursed silently and shifted in his chair. No straight man should be allowed a smile like that, especially combined with the rest of the package. Honestly, the man always looked as if he’d just been shagged and only needed to catch his breath to be ready for another go.

“Of course,” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. “Actually, I came by for a reason. Do you want to come over tonight? Ron told me about what happened with Jeremy.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Harry said, his face going blank. He started rummaging about in his desk. “I have paperwork.” Draco snorted. Also, Jeremy?

“This, I have to hear,” Draco said, wryly. “I must say, I am greatly offended that I have no prior knowledge of this obviously important person in your life.” Well, slightly offended anyway. Harry had been the one to deliver the speech on friendship and the lack of secrets therein, not that he’d been entirely forthcoming, himself. Nonetheless.

“His boyfriend,” Hermione explained. Draco tried not to let his jaw drop.

“Boyfriend?” He asked incredulously. “You’re gay?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Harry corrected, sighing. “And I thought you knew. Is it a problem? I know how pure-blood opinion on this tends – “

“No,” Draco interrupted. “No, it– it was an unexpected revelation. I apologize.” Unexpected? Understatement.

“Good then,” Harry said with an uncertain smile. “Apology accepted.”

“Seriously,” Draco insisted. “In fact, why don’t I take the two of you to a pub tonight, you and Hermione. You can drink away your sorrows.”

“Oh, there aren’t any sorrows,” Harry said, wryly. He gave Draco a long, even look that ended with one of his ‘fuck me’ smiles. Apparently, he’d passed the test, then. “But free drinks are good. You should bring your girlfriend. We don’t see enough of Pansy.”

“I believe she has a prior engagement,” Draco said with a tense smile. Unattainable and obviously uninterested gay men should not be allowed a smile like that, either.

“Too bad,” Harry said, shrugging. “How does nine sound? I need to shower and eat.”

“Fine,” Draco answered. Shower.

“I’ll pick you up at 8:45,” Hermione said, grinning at Harry. We’ll collect Draco and go from there. Gay or straight?”

“Straight,” Draco snapped.

“Ok,” Harry said, slowly. “Are you sure you’re – “

“I am not at all uncomfortable with your sexuality,” Draco interrupted. “I simply thought Hermione ought to be given the chance to exercise her considerable charms.”

“Well, something has your knickers in a twist,” Harry commented. “When you’re upset, you sound like an old book.”

“Leave it, Potter,” Draco spat.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry said, grinning. “Calling me Potter is going to convince me that you’re fine.” He shrugged. He looked like sex doing it, of course. “Oh! I have one.” Draco rolled his eyes, but he started smiling – a little.

“Is it magical?” he asked, grinning at Hermione.

“I’ll leave you children to your game,” she said, shaking her head as she left the room.

“Nope,” Harry said, grinning that damned grin. “Try again.”