The Lady In Black

Chapter 3 (The Lady In Black)

I awoke in the early hours before dawn. My room was dark as always but I couldn't fall back into the pits of my dreamless nights. I was taken aback and haunted by the memories of the past. I still clearly see that day when the conscription letter had arrived the day before departure. The man of the family would be collected early the next morning. He looked stunned but lifted his chin high and made sure to hide the fear that was blooming on the inside, but I knew him too well. He was scared. The sobs had taken hold of me.

"You can't... you can't leave me..." I couldn't finish when the next wave of tears came rushing in.

"Lily it is as if you don't know me, I would never leave you. I will be back before you even have time to miss me." But I knew it was all an act, he was never a fighter. He's an artist, not a warrior. I couldn't stop the tears as they streamed down my face.

"Listen to me, I am coming back whether you like it or not." Oh, yes he so loved to add humor where it wasn't due. He took my hand and led me away towards our unfinished meal.

Early the next morning as promised the conscripts had arrived, the tears had returned because I knew no matter how much he tried to hide it, he was scared. He planted a kiss on my temple and set off to war.

The days passed without a word from the front, I didn't eat or drink. I was blind with worry. Slowly small snippets of news flowed in from the font but no news of him. Where he was, was he even alive? Dread settled, spreading like a virus more and more as days passed with no news.

And then the day had come when my world shattered. Late in the evening, the messenger rode in bringing a list of names of the fallen soldiers.

"Alan Smith, James Cormack, Kevin Harris, Alexander Whitethorn... died nobly in battle to save the majority of his battalion." The messenger continued listing off the names of the fallen but I didn't hear him. My knees buckled and they hit the old unforgiving frozen earth below.

Tears of real grief poured down my face a scream full of pain and sorrow ripped out of my throat. "He promised... he promised he'd come back!" People slowly backed away from me and gave me looks of displeasure but I didn't give a damn. He was gone!

I lay on the cold frozen ground for an eternity until my elderly neighbor led me to my house and made me some stew that I hadn't even touched. I sat on that dreaded chair for days.

After days of grieving, screaming, and thinking, a line that had grown thin these past few days had snapped. I wanted to break to shatter to destroy the world. I was wild, viscous. I ripped the curtains, shredded our clothes, shattered plates. And I tore and ripped and stabbed for hours until nothing remained, finally I stepped out of the house with a burning torch.

Glancing down at the one remaining image of him and a pair of his favourite clothes a single tear ran down my face as I murmured, "I love you, Alex."

And flung the burning torch into our little cabin home and watched it burn to the ground. I stood there in silence as people started to gather, they even went as far as to try and quench the flames. But I only raised a shaking hand and they knew, so they stopped. They knew and they left. And so I stood and watched until nothing but ash remained. With a silence in my heart that had never been there before, I gathered a handful of ashes and put them in a delicately carved wooden box along with his picture.

I took one glance at the city that reminded me of him, the smell filled with so many memories. I took it all in. I turned on my heels and walked, walked for hours until my legs couldn't walk until the pain in my feet overthrew the pain in my heart. I walked and never looked back.