Across Time

2. coimbatore mappillai (part two)

Sivaangi sat in the middle of the bed, her knees drawn to her chest. Ashwin Kumar, her now husband, was standing by the window, looking out. The wedding and everything around it had gone by in a blur, and she had uncharacteristically floated through the festivities. She wasn't one of those girls who dreamed about their wedding and husband, so she didn't care much about the details. But it had been loud, crowded and tiring. In fact she had gotten so tired she wasn't even sure if it was him who tied the thali. Not like it mattered. He was her husband now by all measures. Atleast the family was respectable, and didn't make any demands to her father. The boy was educated and apparently well-mannered (dull in her eyes). She had swapped one man's name from hers for another. Marriage was not something she felt she could escape from like others things in her life. She could pick fights over who got the last biscuit or nicest ballpoint pen but not something this important to her family. Her parents had granted almost all her wishes, and enjoyed her wild, sometimes too wild nature. Still, no one had asked if she was okay or how she felt. But she was used to it. After all, when did people really think about what a woman wanted. She was resigned to her fate.

Her attention moved back to the room. The hum of the overhead fan was the only sound in the room. The flowers that hung around the bed made her stomach turn, no less the untouched fruit basket and glass of milk. Her gaze fixed on his tall figure. She was really locked in a room with this man, her husband on their "first night". Would he try to...It was all too much. Way too much. She felt herself getting sick. She felt her throat tighten, unable to breathe until she suddenly heaved out her stomach's contents. Sivaangi had actually thrown up on herself. Wonderful, she thought as she wiped her mouth. Ashwin turned around at the sound, his eyes wide. She blinked in embarrassment as he ran over, inspecting the scene. "Yenna aachu ma?!" he asked as he searched for a towel. She stayed silent. He came over to her, carefully wiping the stain on her sari and the bedsheet. "Are you sick? Should I call the doctor? Did you eat something bad?" She shook her head. He paused, his eyes scanning her face. "Thani kudi." he grabbed the jug and placed it in her hands, watching as she took a small sip. "Illa, full day busy la. My body just felt weak. I'm fine." She sat still for a few minutes, with Ashwin watching her carefully. He then cleared his throat. "I can change the bedsheet, how about you go change into different clothes." She looked down. "My suitcase is in the other room." She knew neither could leave the room, neither could explain the situation without it becoming a commotion. "Apdiya? Seri appo... if it's okay with you, you can change into my shirt." She frowned. "Illa, I'll close my eyes while you change and I can sleep on the floor. You'll have all privacy. I don't want you to sleep in the stained clothes." It was true, she couldn't bear the smell. It wasn't a tough decision.

He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and placed it on the bed. He then covered his eyes, and turned toward the wall. She quickly changed and threw on the white shirt over her blouse and petticoat. "I'm all changed." He stood with one hand over closed eyes, one hand hovering near the light switch. It was an amusing sight. "Ma, if you need anything just call out my name. Okay va? Light off panlama?" "Okay thaan, light off pannikonga." She paused. "Don't worry about me, I'm okay. Good night." The room was then bathed in darkness, and she heard him slowly settle on the floor. Her hand swept down the cotton material, as she breathed in the smell of him. A small smile crept onto her face and she drifted off.

Ashwin adjusted his pillow, attempting to find some way to sleep. His mind was wracked with questions, along with worry and guilt. Was she sick? Was it exhaustion? Or did he somehow make her uncomfortable? The last thought really unsettled him. She was cordial through all the ceremonies, smiling when necessary and making small talk but deep down he felt some hesitance. He had asked her repeatedly if she was okay with the marriage and she had said yes, and her family seemed overjoyed. Should he have pried further? Did his own excitement blind him from her true feelings? He rubbed his temples, tired from the function and his never ending worries. After all, she was a young girl entering a daunting phase of life with a stranger. Maybe this uncertainty was normal. That is why he wanted to talk about and share everything with her, and break that discomfort. But as usual his shy nature stopped him from doing so. And she never asked him anything, so he had no idea how to approach her. He sighed. His heart settled a little as he heard Sivaangi's even-breathing, indicating peaceful sleep. His only wish was for his wife to be healthy and happy. He would do anything to keep her happy.