He's faking it, Sans. (Undertale x Gravity Falls Crossover)

Chapter 4

Once again, Sans' suspicion of the situation was promptly stomped upon when the first date actually went very well. Bill wasn't secretly a douchebag or anything, he seemed like he genuinely wanted to get to know Sans. They had ended up going to Papyrus' Diner (Sans had a feeling Papyrus met up in person with Bill one day to suggest the idea, he always kind of butted into Sans' love life) and ate waffles, talking about things. Bill didn't rant about himself like a bad date Sans had before. He did go off on a small tangent in his excitement, but that was more about Gravity Falls, then stopped when he realized he was talking for awhile and asked Sans about his own life.

The feeling of unease stayed, though.

Sans knew to always trust his gut feeling, despite his lack of a gut, but he didn't see any emotions from him but the bubbly feeling of new excitement. Was he seriously so on edge with happiness that the sheer thought of someone being interested set him into defensive mode? Seriously?

Bill didn't have any other motives than actually making Sans happy, which he found himself weirded out by. He wasn't trying to get something out of him, he was trying to simply make Sans have a good evening. Questions about what Sans liked, what he did in his free time, what he wanted more of occurred over their night. Papyrus stopped by at least every ten minutes, refilling their drinks that didn't need to be refilled, or adding bottles of ketchup to the table despite his disdain for Sans' diet. If Paps was willing to give Sans ketchup just for an excuse to be at their table, then he was definitely checking in on Bill to make sure he was a good guy.

"Yeah," Bill admitted later in the evening, "He visited me three times before this date. The first time was to suggest where to eat, the other two were to make sure I had your interests in mind."

Sans giggled. "No way, he did?"

"Three whole times!" Bill played with a chip on his plate, grin wide. "I feel like if I ever took you out on another date I'd have to get his blessing."

"You might. Sorry, Paps liking you is required if you intend to seduce me or anything. You have to pass the Papyrus test if you ever date me, it's a rule of mine. We're a package deal, both ways. Mettaton had to wait months just to become official because I didn't let him. Ya know, he's my only family. We're close, we watch out for each other. So if you wanna date one of us, you have to get the other to like you."

Bill looked confused. "Wait, do you mean I have to seduce Papyrus to date you? Because he's a nice guy, but I want to date you specifically."

"Oh, no no! Not at all!" Sans snorted at his confusion. "Paps is taken by Mettaton, I'm just saying he has to like you as a date for me. I don't blame him for being a little worried, either, this is kinda... my first real date?"

"You've never dated before?"

The skeleton sputtered on his words, embarrassed. "I mean, I have been on dates, but they were all one nighter situations. The kind where it's a date just as a safe measure to make sure I'm not making out with some crazy guy or whatever. They've never been... romantic. All of those had the implications of sex afterwards, this one is like a genuine date. First time with that type of date."

"I see. Good then! I'll make your first date strictly romantic and awe you with my charms!" Bill posed on his elbows, winking at Sans from the side.

"Oh my Toby Fox," Sans snorted, laughing into his hands to cover his blushing face.

It was surprising how much fun Sans had. They talked and laughed and ate, and Bill choked on a piece of celery for a moment because he thought you had to swallow it whole. He was stupid, in some ways, as if he never was a human before and was suddenly thrown into the body of one, but that's part of his charm. He had the same effect Papyrus had, where you couldn't help but love him because of how true he was with his beliefs. He didn't want some one nighter from Sans, he wanted a romantic connection.