Things Have Gotten Closer To The Sun -starseas on ao3

Ten

The rest of the day seems to slip past them quickly.

The sky has darkened from a pale white into a deep blue, snow looking like a stretch of nothing outside. It's half past midnight when they decide to call it a day, all of them heading upstairs to their own rooms.

Zayn and Liam head up first, and Niall is already asleep on the sofa, so they leave him because he's the type of person that would appreciate that.

Harry follows Louis upstairs, watching the way that his legs move beneath the thin gray cotton of his sweatpants, socked feet making small sounds over the wooden steps of the stairs.

There were nights like these before, back when they were younger and when they were good-nights when they would be heading upstairs to the same room, grinning as they snuck away from everything else and into each other. Spilling secrets into each other's mouths like it was the only place where they could be kept safe.

It's strange to think that, now, Louis is so close. Right there, and yet he's still so far away. And it's strange to think how something so far away can still reach you, still burn you.

Once they reach the landing, Louis turns back towards Harry.

He doesn't say anything. They just look at each other for a moment and the moment stretches on, blue eyes locked on green, green eyes looking back. Louis, like this, is what Harry isn't used to.

He seems indifferent, he seems worlds away from what he used to be.

Harry stands frozen on the top step of the stairs, watching Louis as he stands outside his bedroom door, leaning back against it with his arms crossed.

No one speaks, and it almost feels like Louis is giving him a chance to say something, anything, but then the moment is over and Louis is sighing, the sound of it breaking up the silence like a gunshot or something worse.

"Goodnight, Harry." He says.

Harry nods, doesn't know what else he can do.

Louis sort of smiles, an upturn of the mouth with no warmth behind it, and then he's turning back and pushing open his door. In the gap, Harry catches small pieces of a huge window and a bed, the colors washed out by the moon.

He needs to say something, anything. He needs to try. Just as Louis steps inside his bedroom, Harry opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again.

Louis is the sound stuck in his throat.

"I know-I get that you're not too happy to see me, Louis, but I'm happy to see you." Harry starts, and the words leave his mouth slowly. They seem to cast shadows on the wall. "And I'm sorry that it took the world ending for me to be here."

Louis doesn't turn around. He doesn't speak, either.

He just stands there for a moment before walking into his room and shutting the door behind him, leaving Harry alone on the top step with his words and fucking useless love for Louis.

It takes about ten minutes for Harry to move again.

Making his way to the opposite end of the hall, Harry catches the faint murmur of conversation that slips out from beneath the door of the room that Zayn and Liam are sharing. He hears laughter, the muffled sound of somebody falling off the bed, and he wonders about that.

Still, he doesn't stop until he reaches the last room in the hallway and steps inside, door falling shut behind him with a small thud.

There's nothing but silence and the whole room swims in pale shadows as Harry steps out his clothes, leaving only his boxers on before crawling onto the bed. He stays above the sheets, watching the way that the moonlight washes in through the window and leaves bright lines across his bare thighs, and over the jut of his ankle.

On his hip, there's a bruise from the accident.

Pale purple spreading into black. Just like the sun, it's a reminder that the world is ending, a reminder that he's lost control.

Resting back against the pillow, Harry shuts his eyes, breathing slow.

He falls asleep looking for the words in Louis' silence.