" A woman fits in many roles in her lifetime. She's someone else at each stage of her life. She is a child, a woman, a mother. If she's smart and blessed subject of God she could even become a Sultana. What matters is which title and role you see fi...
" Huma, is something bothering you? What happened?" Humasah Sultana asked me worriedly while we were sitting under the tent in the Gardens. There were only few days left until my father Zulfikar-paşa returns to the court together with Sultan Ahmed Khan.
" Everything is fine, Sultana. You shouldn't worry." I lied to her pretending everything is fine because I didn't want to make her sad.
" Kosem did something again?" Humasah asked me and I just kept silent.
" She wants to marry me with Şehzade Mehmed." I said to her and looked at the ground.
Şehzade Mehmed was good boy, but he wasn't someone I would want to spend my life with, because I had emotions towards Osman.
" I won't let Kosem do that, you shouldn't worry. You are nothing to her so she can't decide who you will be with." Humasah said as she putted her hand on my cheeks.
We continued to chat in gardens until Kosem came there. I stood up and bowed to her while she was measuring me from head to toe. Then she went and sat next to Humasah and I sat back down on pillow.
" I guess Huma already said to you that I will marry her with my brave lion Mehmed if Sultan allows that." Kosem said proudly with a smile to Humasah who looked at her seriously.
" You aren't the one who will decide about those things, Kosem. It is our Sultan who will see if that is suitable." Humasah said and I was scared if Sultan would listen to Kosem and do it.
Everyone knew he believes and respects Kosem a lot. She was the one who Ahmed listened to most, after his mother Handan died.
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" Of course he is going to find this suitable. I am Mehmed's mother and I know what is good for him. At the end, he needs to have his Harem now. Osman is only one year elder than him and he already has his concubine." Kosem said seriously to Humasah. Every mention of Osman's concubine Meleksima made me hurt and remember she is the one who spends nights with him.
" We will see, Kosem. We will se what will our Sultan decide." Humasah said coldly to her. I never saw Humasah before being cold to someone, maybe because she was never like this to me.
After I left Gardens, I continued to walk around the Palace. At one moment, I saw Meleksima, Osman's favourite concubine. She was walking towards me.
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She just stood in front of me and looked at me sadly, and this time I had no idea what happened and why she was so sad.
" Are you fine, Meleksima?" I asked her as she seemed really worriedly about something.
" I am.. I am fine." She said to me and looked at another way, she seemed like she is lying or hiding something.
" You don't make me feel so sure about it." I said to her as I really wondered what happened to her.
" I have a problem, but I can't talk with you about that. You will tell that to someone else." Meleksima said and started to walk away, but I hold her hand and looked at her.
" Maybe you didn't get good first impression on me because you thought there is something between Osman and me, but that is not truth. I am going to be married to Şehzade Mehmed." I said to her and I saw her eyes are smiling at that moment, but she continued to be sad.
" Where can we talk privatley?" Meleksima asked me and she looked at both ways around us to find a safe place.
" Come with me." I said to her and we started walking towards my chambers. I signalised servants to leave so I could talk peacefully with her.
We sat on the sofa in my chambers and I couldn't wait to hear what is bothering her.
"What is it? Is it something serious?" I asked her as I was really concerned. Of course I was jealous of her when she was the one who slept and kissed Osman, but what could I do about it anymore.
" I am preganant, and it is forbidden for Princes to have children. I don't know who to say. Kosem Sultana will kill me if she finds out about it." Meleksima said and looked sadly at the floor while she touched her belly.
She was carrying a baby from man I love most in the world and who I would give my life to. Of course there was a bit of jealousy inside me, but I was happy for Osman who would be happy for sure about this.
" You should talk with Osman, he will know the best what he can do or can't. And it may be better if you don't tell it to Kosem Sultana. Who knows what she can do." I said to her and she stood up.
She started walking away, and at that moment she putted her hands on the table. I looked at her worriedly.
" I just feel bad, it is because of pregnancy." she said and continued to walk away from my chamber. I found it weird, but I didn't care a lot about it.
" Huma Hatun, Şehzade Osman wants to see you." Selma came into my chambers and said to me. I was really happy about it and I putted my most beautiful dress, even though I know there is no ability for us to be together.
I walked to the Secret Gardens through Secret hallways of Harem. When I came inside everything was full of scent of jasmines.
" Huma, I missed you." Osman said as he gave me a smile.
" This is probably last time we can see, because Sultan is coming in few days, and then they will marry me for Mehmed." I said and looked at the floor from sadness.
" I will never let them do it. I won't allow them to marry you to Mehmed. If you will be anyone's wife, then you will be my wife." Osman said as he lifted my head up.
" I don't want you to be sad any time more, Huma. When I see you sad, I feel sad too." Osman said and he made me blushed at that moment.
" Then I will smile just to make you happy." I said and laughed.
" I wanted to tell you happy news, my favourite Meleksima is preganant and I will become father." Osman said what I already knew but I wanted to make it like I don't know it.
" Congradulations, I am sure you will be the best father." I said to him and smiled.
" Usually Princes weren't allowed to have children, I am afraid what will my father say about it." Osman said as he was really concerned.
" I hope he will allow you to have a child, he made new rules, and why not to make even more new rules now?" I said and smiled, and he smiled to me back.
" I wish one day I could have a child with you." Osman said and touched my hand softly.
