Straitjacket

the /real/ Chapter 25

*shows up in your inbox dressed like a fancy waiter*
Good morning ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between or beyond. We have a lovely selection of Angst for you today:
We have some very nice 'touch starved Deku' with a delectable side of 'Worried Dadzawa handling a mental breakdown' and just a *hint* of the LOV's manipulation. Enjoy!

(Just a warning this contains the use of it/it's pronouns negatively. It/Its pronouns are 100% valid but they are just used in a bad way here)

***

Bile was swiftly rising up Deku's throat, claws in the pit of its stomach ripping its resolve to shreds. Sitting in a room surrounded by pro's was not helping its already-crippled mental status when these were the very people it was trained to kill. It's mind had already started to tap out when Nezu mentioned something about "UA being Midoriya's best option, in terms or safety and mental health.'' 

Because this was wrong.

It doesn't deserve a chance to prove its good, its been so bad already. Make no mistake Izuku was well aware of what Nezu wanted. He wanted to keep it locked away and use it like Master did. Evaluate its every move and exploit the quirk it never wanted. It doesn't deserve a second chance, it doesn't deserve anything but pain. It doesn't deserve a name. "Kill him, I told you fucking KILL HIM. I gave you an order and you know better than to disobey."

"You remember what happened last time you disobeyed me don't you?"

Mangled bodies and glaring stares. A scream was shoved down the back of its throat, because they died because of  it's fucking stubbornness. It's fault, this is all its fault. Why are you still giving me a chance WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVEN'T EARNED IT. I DONT DESERVE IT. I DONT I DONTIDONTIDONT-

"Izuku"

The voice pierced through it's mind, clearing the fog that drowned its thoughts, what a strange tranquility it feels

Mr. Aizawa was kneeling in front of it, the whole room had gone eerily quiet, Midnight was staring at him with something akin to terrified horror in her eyes, All Might didn't even mask the disgust in his gaze cold blue eyes boring into him. And Nezu had reduced to just watching him with rapt attention.

The carpet underneath its knees was coarse and rough and dug into its skin uncomfortably. Good it earned the pain. 

When did it get on the floor?

Its eyes darted around, taking in its surroundings. Its legs were folded beneath its thighs, fingertips had dug into its knees with so much force that the fabric started to fray. It's head was bowed and the cup of water that was formerly clutched in its grasp now lay on the floor. Not 2 feet away from it's left hand.

"Izuku can you hear me?" Aizawa again, why was he so worried about it? It doesn't deserve this attention.

"'M sorry"

It's voice was hoarse and raspy and quiet, and it tried to apologize with as much conviction as it could muster. It saw Aizawa wince at the sound of it's voice and his expression shift into something more, dare it say, concerned?

"Izuku you just collapsed, are you tired? Do you want something to eat? What's the matter, tell me what's wrong Deku."

White knuckled fingers moved from its knee to grasp at it's arm. Gaunt, pasty skin broke easily. Rivulets of blood streaming down it's limb. A quiet gasp, it sounded like Midnight, the pro's were still here?

"Izuku, Izuku please stop" It wished Aizawa stopped talking, It wished Aizawa would never stop speaking. 

It didn't stop

"Izuku Im going to touch you ok."

Why were they asking it? Why? It didn't understand, it didn't matter what it wanted

It doesn't want anything anymore.

A calloused hand enters its vision, finally, it caved and now it's going to punish him, its going to get what it deserves.

The hand hits Izuku

And its the softest it's ever been hit

The hand prys it's bloody fingers away from it's arm, and grasps its head, pushing it into the crook of Mr. Aizawa's shoulder, this is so different than how its usually hit. This feels like a fever dream to it.

It starts crying, it doesn't deserve to cry. Silent tears staining Mr. Aizawa's shirt, just another thing to be punished for later. Shota hits its head gently, tugging at its hair and whispering comfort. Its shaking in his arms.

Eventually black swarms its vision and it is at rest.

***

Happy pride month everyone!🏳‍🌈 Here's an extra long chapter since i was gone for so long <3

this might possibly my favorite chapter in this sad excuse of a book.

im going to start trying to make each chapter longer

tooth rotting fluff next chapter, (whenever it comes out)

-Jadvig