An Unexpressed Love

It's late December and the winter had started shuddering the city with continuous fall in temperature .Fazi bought few bottles of beer from liquor shop and rushed towards his room.The road was now getting empty in early evening even before the clock showed seven.
When he reached , his friend aadi was already there, seemed to be lost in his own world with a frown face lying on a couch.
Aadi? No answer
Aadi......?
Aadi turned his head but spoke nothing.
At the meantime servant arrived at a door.
"Sir,I have completed the chores.I'm leaving now"
"okay ."- Fazi
"Aadi , did you again quarrel with Rumi?"
"We two got divorced." Aadi quavered.
"Why? "
" she's having an extramarital affair." Aadi nearly choked.
Fazi  opened the crown caps and  handed a bottle of beer to Aadi . Both of them headed towards roof. There was an awkward silence for seconds .
" Life is a field of never ending pain" Finally Aadi broke the silence.
" I have never hear you speaking  such things before."-Fazi
" I have never had heartbreak before." Aadi  smirked.
" I can understand your pain." Fazi tried to console him.
"No ,you can't until you experience  .why is it so hard to get over someone that never even loved you?" Love  is a hindrance and a source of dissatisfaction and irritation ."-Aadi
" The explanation of love that would fit on one case doesn't apply to dozen others, Aadi."
Again, there was a complete silence for a while. "let's have dinner,Aadi".
Aadi nooded his head. Both of them finished their beer and went to have dinner.After dinner Aadi asked Fazi if he had ever loved someone but fazi ignored him.After dinner they went to study room . unfortunately fazi's wallet fall down. When Aadi tried to pick up the wallet he saw a photo of fazi with a young and elegant girl . The photograph seemed to be taken during teenage . Aadi asked about the girl in photograph .
Fazi didn't utter a word.  After a minute silence he started speaking in a soft tone," she's the one whom I loved since the age when i don't even know what love was."
" You're such a secret Romeo,Fazi .Tell me more . Were you two childhood sweethearts? "
"No,not really ." - Fazi
"Then how did you know each other ?"- Aadi
" I met her in school for the first time . I was new in the school. Some bad boys were provoking and me and i was standing there helplessly.  Then a strong girl came and saved me like a superwoman. Those  bad boys ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. Since then we became best friends. "
It sounds like I'm listening a fairy tale. What happened next?- Aadi
"The park was our favourite place to hang out. We often used to visit there on Sunday.We would pack food and later eat them under the big banayan tree.As years went by , I noticed my feelings towards her were slowly changing. We reached the age of eighteen and i noticed  Joya grew lovelier each day.  Her gaze,  her simple dress, the way she did her hair, her voice , her gait always produced significant impression on me. I loved the way she laughed at me when i commited mistakes, the way she fussed over silly things and even the way she cried over some sad silly late night shows."-fazi

"We've been friends for so long,yet  i don't think i have understand you well.- Aadi
" people don't seem  to understand me very well anyways, i don't seem to understand them well either ." -fazi
(The clock struck 11. )
Let's go to bed .-fazi
" No way, we can't leave in middle like this.Today is the day to speak your heart out."-Aadi
"I turned out liking her more than i originally planned.I even started being jealous seeing my friends giving compliments ,flowers and chocolates to her . There were times when i watch her at a distance with a mixed feeling of anger and hurt. "- Fazi
" Didn't you ever express your feelings to her Fazi?"
" Many times I tried to deny the  feelings for i was  scared to imagine what would happen if i'd ever tried to express my feelings for her.

It was my 23rd birthday and we're planning to celebrate it in the same way we used to before .I went to pick up zoya. I was waiting outside her house when i heard a say ,How do i look? I looked back and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless red dress with her hair flowing around a face ." 'Loveliest girl in the world ' i replied with a smile.She was blushing then. I found myself lost as i stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair on her face were like waves enhancing ocean. I wanted to tell her about my feelings at that time.I drew up all my courage and bent down to whisper it in her ears .suddenly her cell phone rang and she went to attend it. Later she told me it was her boyfriend on the phone.Nayan ,  a popular senior was disciplined yet cool, challenging yet generous ,modest and mostly fun loving. I thought he was perfect for her.
''How could you even think like that fazi ?
"At that time i was not able to think anything . I was non graduate, a guy with average look and a son of farmer whereas Nayan was  graduate, handsome and son of renowned  merchant.I thought he would be better for her.
I was hurt when  i see her walk by me with him at her side.I was hurt to see the girl i long possessed was owned by somebody.
That special smile i long for her to cast on me was now casted on him.
Since then i started avoiding her.Many times she tried talking to me but i didn't gave her chance to do do. I didn't receive her calls too.It was hard for me to do so but i thought it was the best way to forget her.
The day of our graduation came.As the programme ended she came near to me , congratulated me and handed me a gift. She smiled at me but it was not the same smile which she had before. At that time I wanted to hug her and tell her that i love her but then she walked away.Next morning; i moved out from the city  as per planned for my further  study in next state and accomplished my dream of being a writer. I didn't inform anyone .It was the last time i saw her.
" How stone- hearted person you are? Didn't you ever try to contact her in these years?" .-Aadi
" It was a year after i beacame a doctor , i decided to go and see her. I couldn't forget her even after trying my best. As i got off the plane , i  directly went to  her house desperate to see her,to hug her.This time I was determined to let her know my true feelings . When i reached there her lil brother opened the door. I told him i was looking for zoya.He asked me to follow him . He took me to a room and  pointed at the wall. I looked at where he was pointing and saw a garland round the photo of the girl i ever loved . I looked in john's eyes searching for an explanation and  he slowly started saying ," It has been two months since she died. She died of brain tumour .she  utter your name before she died . She had told me that you will return one day and asked me to give her diary to you. " He handed me a diary and went out of room. I also left the room and went to park.
When i completed reading her diary i realized she was the one who loved me the most, my superwoman . She never had a relationship with Nayan . She was doing so as to check if i had ever love her as a girl or as a friend only. I waited for an eternity to  hear those words , but i couldn't tell her the words which i had buried in my heart for many years.
Aadi was  whimpering.
Fazi said - How's my new story? Did you like it?
Aadi was now in a dilemma whether it was his true life story or just a fiction?
                             ( The end )