ALLOCOSMOS

Chapter 6: Going Home

Hoseok has been waiting for Hye-su to come back. He has been standing on the bridge for two hours— but he hasn't seen any signs of his other self yet. "Did something bad happen to him?", the thought horrified him.

"Hye-su will not put himself in danger. He's always as careful as me."

Hoseok reassured himself. He walked back and forth while in deep thoughts, wishing Hye-su to finally show up. Tonight will be the end of the their deal. He looked around and studied the place he'd been at for months. He sure missed his family, but this parallel world somehow gave him comfort and peace. This world let him experience the one thing he'd been wanting to do but was taken away from him in his world— performing.

Hye-su, on the other hand, was born an orphan in this world. A completely opposite of his life. He felt a stinging pain in his heart all of a sudden. Hye-su did a great job living as him in his world. When he made the deal with him that day, he didn't know exactly what he's getting themselves into. But now, everything is clear. He needed Hye-su to win Yoongi's heart. The last time he was in his world, as him, he noticed how Yoongi's eyes twinkled when he looked at him. And for the very first time, Yoongi showed affection towards him.

"Him?" The voice in his head asked. He leaned on the side of the bridge, letting a heavy sigh, looking up the starry night. The moon shines so bright and beautifully illuminates this part of the town— where Hye-su and him first met. He wondered if the portal will eventually close behind this unknown world forever. He stared at the same spot where Hye-su would usually appear for a a few good seconds, but even his shadow cannot be seen—until now. He looked at his watch, it's been more than two hours and counting. He was getting impatient and nervous at the same time.

"Should I check on him myself?"He asked while biting his nail on his right thumb.

"What if something happened?" he continued.

He didn't think twice. He reached inside his coat's pocket and opened the small perfume bottle and let its scent lingers in the air. He inhaled his favorite scent— Yoongi's. He had always loved how he smelled. And with just a blink of his eyes, the portal appeared and opened in front of him. He didn't waste any more time, he entered and got back in his own world again. The other side of the portal always leads him back to wherever his other self is at and vice versa.

He found himself in their garden, where a party is being held at the moment. He recognized every face. He saw his family all smiling and enjoying the night. This is his party.

"So, this is why he couldn't come? He was busy celebrating my day." He said with a little bit annoyed voice while he hid himself in the crowd, still searching for his other self. Hoseok didn't find him outside the house so he sneaked in and tried to search again. "Where is he?" he muttered to himself.

"Hyesu-ah? Where the hell are you?"

Hoseok's feet led him to the master's bedroom. At first, it was pitch black and had no signs of anyone, but his eyes adjusted to the light shining through the curtains. He remembered the first night he slept in this room, alone. Now, the thought of Yoongi sleeping on the bed with someone else, makes him feel like a fading candle in the dark. He was about to get out of the room when he heard someone spoke on the microphone. He recognized the voice.

He walked towards the window, pulled off the curtains and peeked outside. From where he was standing, he saw Yoongi holding a microphone in his biggest gummy smile. He felt his heart clenching. He had never seen those smiles... ever. They've been husbands for three years but Yoongi was always in his cold aura when he's with him. He was never in favor of their arranged marriage too, but what can he do? He couldn't let his father's blood, sweat and tears go all down the drain. Their company is his life. He had no choice— and he didn't realize that in those failing three years— his heart would learn the art of unrequited love.

"May I have your attention everyone?" Yoongi said on the microphone. His cheeks were pinkish red.

"He must've drunk too much already." Hoseok whispered.

He continued watching Yoongi from the shadow. He always looked so handsome in whatever clothes he wears. Hoseok smiled bitterly. While he was in Hye-su's world, there's not a single moment where he did not miss a part of him.

He heard Yoongi spoke again.

"Tonight— I want to make a big announcement!" The crowd's curiosity echoed. He, too was intrigued but anxious at the same time.

"I wonder what is he planning?" Hoseok asked himself in the dark.

"But first, may I call on one important person to join me here in front? Jung Hoseok—"

Hoseok's heart leaped from his chest when he heard his name. The crowd's eyes shifted to one person, sitting with the crowd, Jung Hye-su. Hoseok quietly watched as his other self walked towards where Yoongi was standing. He watched how his husband carefully offered his right hand to Hye-su. Yoongi's smile went softer when Hye-su took his hand. Yoongi placed a kiss on it. Hoseok suddenly felt a dagger repeatedly being stabbed in his heart. For three years of being husbands, he had never seen Yoongi looked so happy. He tried to do all his best as his husband. But not even once did Yoongi look at him the way he looked at his other self— Jung Hye-su. Yoongi faced the crowd once again, with a smile still plastered on his face.

"I know that you already knew how long we've been married. It was never a perfect start. I was never a good husband from the start either." Yoongi, gazed at the person in front of him, regrets visible in his eyes.

Hoseok's throat had gone dry and his eyes were getting misty.

"We're all just humans. We make stupid mistakes. We can be selfish at times. We constantly look for something to fill that void hole inside us. But sometimes, as we get preoccupied and busy searching for something for ourselves, we don't realize the value of the things... and people we already have until they're gone." Yoongi gave Hye-su's hand a soft squeeze before looking at him in the eyes.

The moment Yoongi heard the news that Hoseok has been into a fatal accident while looking for him, the more he felt infuriated with himself. How did he put him into such great danger? How selfish of him to not just inflict pain but to also almost take his life away? Hoseok only did nothing but be to love him, unconditionally, every day. Even if he knew he can't offer him anything in return, he never heard him complain. During those nights when Hoseok was in a coma, he never thought he'd begged and prayed nonstop only for him to wake up. And at that very moment, Yoongi, has never been so terrified all his life— so terrified of losing his husband.

"Hoseok-ah..." Yoongi said, voice hoarse.

Hot liquid started streaming on Hoseok's cheeks without him realizing it. The way Yoongi calls his name has always been music to his ears. But why is it that this time around, it's making his heart shatters into a million pieces? Yoongi was saying his name but it wasn't him that he's looking at and it wasn't him whom his heart is beating for. Hoseok continued sobbing in the dark as he watches Yoongi knelt down and reached something in his coat's inner pocket. Yoongi opened a black velvet box and people gasped in excitement when he offered it to the person standing in front of him. Hoseok covered his mouth, trying to hold all the whimpers that are trying to escape.

"I wanna make things right this time. Will you... marry me, again?" Yoongi asked nervously.

Hye-su was caught off guard.

"This is the plan. Make Yoongi fall in love with his other self." Hye-su said in his head.

"We made it Jung Hoseok."

He smiled at Yoongi. But why are there tears in his eyes? Why is he hearing a loud shattering sound inside his heart? Why is the voice in his head wishing that somehow, he is Jung Hoseok?

Hoseok watched as Hye-su nodded in tears to the man he loves so much. Yoongi's eyes sparkled and replied with the sweetest smile. Something that Hoseok had only seen for the very first time. Yoongi took the ring from the box and put it on Hye-su's finger. Hoseok couldn't hold in the scream that's trying to get out of his chest anymore. Yoongi stood up to cup Hye-su's chin and leaned closer before placing a soft, gentle kiss on his lips. A thing Hoseok has never experienced, even once. As the crowd cheered for them, Hoseok was getting shattered behind, in the shadow. Those gazes, those smiles, those laughs, he knew... he was never the reason— and never will he be.

Because in this world, Yoongi's heart was never destined to be his in the first place.