Secrets to Lies

18

I heard a knock at Ginnys door. It was faint. I wasn't asleep but rather staring at the ceiling thinking about Fred. Oh how he makes me smile.

I checked to see if anyone else woke up from the nock but they were still asleep. I got up and quietly snuck to the door where I opened it to check who it was.

"Hello?" I said in a faint whisper. "Fred what are you doing up so late?"

"Can we talk." He said. He wasn't wearing a shirt and had plaid pants on. His hair was as messy as it could be and he looked serious.

"Everyone's asleep, I'm not sure where we could talk." I then suggested we went out to the shed so we didn't have to whisper. It's far away from the house and was pretty big. He nodded and I closed the door behind me. I followed Fred through the house and out the front door.

Once we made it inside the shed he closed the door, turned the light on, and sat down on an old bench that creeks. I sat next to him and awkwardly smiled.

"So, what's up." I said trying to break the tension.

"Mar, I like you, a lot. And I want to apologize about what you saw at the ball. I  kissed that girl so I could get my mind off of you and Grant." He looked me in the eyes and I sat there confused.

"Wait why. Do you not like Grant?"

"No Mar. I don't. I like you and I was only with Angelina because I wanted to make you jealous. And when I saw you there with him I knew it was over and I found a random girl to take my emotions out on. I'm sorry." Fred looked at me apologetically.

"Did Angie know about this or were you just using her?" I liked her. I didn't want to see her get hurt because of me.

"No she knew about it all along. She is actually dating George."

"Good for them at least. But Fred why didn't you just talk to me." I stood up. "I would have never had to go through what I did with Grant if you just asked me to the dance. Or told me you liked me sooner." He played with my feelings and I needed to know why.

"I was scared Amara. I've never liked someone as much as I like you. And I wouldn't have been able to get over your rejection."

"Fred stop. You played with my feelings. I thought you liked me and then you started "dating" Angelina. I tried to move on but that didn't work so I went running back to you just to find you kissing another girl. Now you tell me you like me and say sorry and expect everything to go away." I started walking toward the door, leaving in anger, but he grabbed my hand and spun me around where my stomach was touching his. He brought one of his hands off my waist and brought it up to my face as he tucked the hair behind my ear away. Fred lowered his mouth to that ear and whispered something so quietly that not even a fly could hear it. Just me.

"Stay." It was all he said. That four letter word clicked something inside me. My face got red as he brought his mouth from my ear to my mouth. I could feel his warm breath close to my skin. I moved closer so our lips could lock. I moved my hands to his soft hair and slowly kissed him. Making this a moment I would never forget.

He started backing me up until my back hit the wall. He put his hands all over me. I felt happy. That was the first time in a while where I genuinely felt something other then worry or sadness. I felt something. And it scared me.

He moved his mouth to my neck as I let out a soft sound. I brought his face back to my mouth but stopped his kiss. I stared into his eyes and he smiled at me. 

I wanted to smile back. I wanted to continue kissing him. I wanted to tell him I liked him back and I wanted to be more then friends. But I pushed him off me and ran out the shed door. I quietly made it back to Ginnys room where I got back into the covers of my bed.

I tried slowing my breathing down but the more I thought about what just happened the faster my heart pumped. I smiled and then smacked my face into my pillow thinking about how I ran away from the best moment of my life because I was scared of being happy.

I fell like my happiness always goes away. I had a happy family and then my dad left to serve Voldemort. I had an amazing friend but I ruined it because I didn't love him. I went to a new school and made new friends but put them in danger because Voldemort wants to kill me (or try to make me become dark lord 2.0). And now I have someone who likes me and I like him back but I'm scared it's going to go away. Weather it's because of how messed up I am or how messed up my powers are. Which he still dosent know about.

I closed my eyes and dozed off. I'll just deal with all of this tomorrow. Or I'll try to.