One thing that I knew is I'm unloved. I never experienced nor feel the love from people I cherish the most. They said that no-one can ever love a person like me. Why? Is there anything I can do just to love me? I whisper at the wind.
I deep sign, this will be the 10 heartbreak in my relationships that I experienced. I don't expect that they dumb me, I was just seeking for love but it's fail-10 trials for seeking and for this time was fail.
"Kerisha! What are you doing there huh?" I heard my mom shout from the door of the veranda. I part my lips and turn around.
"Nothing mom, nagpapahangin Lang po..." Ani ko sa mababang boses. I heard a little chuckle from her.
"Why don't you jump? You bitch! I never know why you born!" She said harshly and start to step back with a disgusting face. I breath and look up, I don't want to cry! Why would I cry if this is not the first time she told me that.
My mom hate me I know, she was sexually harass and I'm the fruit who ruin her. She told me words that make me cry when I was child... until now. Hindi niya ako tanggap bilang isang anak niya. She was a model back then when someone put sex-drug on her liquor and set her up. Pinagsisihan niya na naging anak niya ako at galit siya sa akin dahil hindi niya naabot ang pangarap niya noon.
"Hey sister!..." May panunuyang tawag nito.
"Camilla.." I said.
"How are you? Dying inside huh?" She said.
"Alive until now, what do you think?" Pagtataray ko sa kaniya.
"Well, the unloved child was fearless now huh... or just pretending cause no one will love you?!" Pambabato niyang tugon.
"How dare you! You are just ad-"
"Kerisha!" Hindi ko na nagawang dugsungan ang aking mga sasabihin ng marinig ang boses ni Mommy!
"What the hell did you hurt her huh?" She yelled at me.
" I ju-"
"Shut up you stupid!"
"Bu-"
"Oh come-on Kerisha, you insult me first! Mom she said that I was just adopted!" She cried and my mom held her hand. How hurt the scene is...
"You! Go to your room and die, you hurt my precious...shh...don't cry Camilla okay...she just unloved." Before I cry in front of them I run fast and go to my room.
My Mom adopt Camilla when I was 6 years old that time. I said to her that I want a newest Barbie cause I want to play with friends, then I saw she buy it, I was happy back then finally mommy buy me a New Barbie! I run toward the door to thank and hug her but I was in pain when Camilla approach her then she smile and hug her like her own child-then I taught the Barbie was for me but I was hopeless and saw her sending her gift to Camilla. She was beloved and I'm just whispering the wind and wish that I have a person who love me the most.
I run faster, today was another tommorow from yesterday. I was crying when I fell my chest pain with the scene yesterday. I was really hopeless, where can I see the love that world can't?
"Fuck.." I curse when I was going to feel at the ground but luckily someone hold my hand to raise again. Thank God!
"Your mouth, Miss..." He said and he continued running, Hindi ako nakapagpasalamat sa kaniya dahil umalis na Ito. That's okay he don't mind either.
Umupo ako sa upuan malapit sa puno, it was a refreshing day and beautiful. I let my eyes roam around. What a good scenary.
"Kerisha!" Someone called me and I look toward him! It's Jake! My-Ex!
