We

how We began

I was just shy of 17 and also climbing my way out of what I consider the worst year of my life. I was trying to forget those feelings of being alone, of coming to school and knowing that I couldn't consider any of the students my friends. I promised myself that I would enter my junior year without the constant reminder of how I spent all that time feeling so alone and hating everything. This was made easier by the fact that the scars on my wrists were healed to the point where they didn't need to be hidden as they were only noticeable by me. I made a commitment to turn things around.

Just before school started, I was hired at a local bakery called McHenry's. I got the job through Leah, a girl I had grown up with and still talked to every once in a while. Soon after, Leah also got a job for her best friend Scarlett, an outgoing redhead who I instantly clicked with. The three of us got closer, nicknaming ourselves the McHenry's Slaves, and for the first time since I could remember, I felt like I had some people to call my friends.

Then along came Pyper. We had been acquaintances last year but she was never really any more than everyone else in school was to me: someone I talked to, but couldn't actually consider a friend. I spent that awful year being so painfully jealous of Pyper- she was thin and pretty, a talented dancer at a prestigious ballet school, and the ringleader of a perfect group of friends. There were 13 of them, including Leah and Scarlett. They hung out all the time and they were all so nice and friendly. They knew how to have fun without drinking and smoking, unlike most of our classmates. They were all so close, like a little family. They loved each other and I wanted nothing more than to be a part of a group of friends like that.

I can't even explain how I became friends with Pyper. We had all our classes together, and once we got started talking, there was no stopping. I had never met someone so much like myself than her. However it happened, it didn't take long for Pyper to become my best friend.

A few weeks into the school year, it was Scarlett's birthday. We had become friends through working together at McHenry's, but I was still shocked when she asked Victoria to invite me to the "surprise" party she was hosting. This was them: the group I spent my sophomore year admiring and wishing to be a part of.

The day of the party, Pyper and I went downtown to the little gift shops and boutiques to find a gift for Scarlett (and maybe a little something here and there for ourselves). We both got parking tickets, but I still remember how impossible it was to kill my mood. I followed Pyper to Victoria's house since I had never been there before, a dark blue gift box in the passenger seat holding a silver ring that Scarlett still wears every day.

At Victoria's house, everyone lazed around on the couches or hovered around the kitchen counter, awaiting Scarlett's arrival. We all knew that Scarlett was aware of the surprise party- she practically planned it herself- but we still hid when her car pulled into the driveway and jumped out from behind furniture to see her terribly faked surprise face.

The party went smoothly. I talked to them like friends rather than the brief conversations we had exchanged in the past as classmates. I found myself sitting around the table eating pizza and talking with Levi and Nathan, old friends I hadn't had a real conversation with since we were 12, sitting on the couch with Pyper and Leah, finally feeling like a normal teenage girl on a normal Friday night.

When pizza was eaten and presents were open (Scarlett put the ring on immediately and assured me that she absolutely loved it), it was getting late and those with early curfews and early morning plans were getting ready to leave. With a "thank you" to Victoria's parents, Scarlett, Leah, Madelyn, Declan, and Gavin left. There was also Rose and Mason who walked hand-in-hand to Mason's car, earning a noticeable glare from Nathan.

"Let's go out on the trampoline!" Victoria suggested, the first to run out the back door knowing everyone would follow. She had the kind of fun and addictive personality that made it easy to comply with such a strange idea, but as we all got up from the couch, Pyper explained that this was totally normal, that they would spend hours lying on the trampoline at night just talking. Before any of us could make it out the door, Victoria was back to announce that we needed pillows and blankets as the comfortable air of a New England September day had given way to a chilly night, especially with our close proximity to the ocean. With pillows and thick blankets in arms, we stumbled through the dark backyard to set up camp on the trampoline.

After 10 minutes of laughter and bumping into each other on the crowded trampoline, we settled into a pile of bodies and blankets, which as it turns out, we didn't have enough of to keep everybody warm. Huddled close enough together for everyone to have a piece of blanket, Levi began complaining of not having a pillow.

"Just be happy you have the biggest blanket," Pyper told him.

"Yeah, but I have to share it with Victoria!" he complained even further.

"Okay, slightly offended," Victoria's voice came from the dark on the other side of the trampoline.

"Shit, there's no way I'll get home before curfew!" Owen shouted as he scrambled off the trampoline and searched for his shoes before running to his car.

"I call his blanket!" Shayla yelled when he was gone.

"No way! You already have the good pillow!" Pyper argued.

In the mess of limbs as everyone tried to get comfortable again, I ended up next to Nathan with the thickest wool blanket available, a relief since the dropping temperature was becoming a bit uncomfortable.

"Share the blanket and I'll let you share the pillow," he offered, quiet enough for only me to hear.

"Deal," I said, spreading the blanket over both of us and lying down beside him, our heads just an inch apart so they could both fit on the pillow.

With my curfew approaching, I was suddenly a lot more interested in talking to Nathan than being home in time, a rule I had never actually experienced because I had never actually gone out for the night. He asked me to tell him a joke and in return for a cheesy one my cousin had told me, I got a dazzling laugh and eyes that sparkled in the light of the moon through the treetops.

Once it got late enough for my mom to actually text me telling me to get my ass home, I peeled the blanket off myself and replaced it back on Nathan. Driving home, I took a wrong turn trying to navigate the unfamiliar streets, but the only thing on my mind was this totally new idea of having a group of friends. I knew my resolution to be happy this year was finally coming true and no amount of wrong turns trying to get home could've ruined my mood. That night marked the beginning of what I can only consider a new life, with the people who would become my family for the rest of high school, and probably even the rest of my life.

And then there was Nathan. I knew he had history with Rose and clearly didn't approve of her relationship with Mason, and I had no idea where that situation stood. But I liked him. I had always been the type to have insignificant little crushes on any cute guy who even paid the slightest bit of attention to me, but I expected like any other one, this one would pass. I had no idea that night what it would grow into. That night, all I knew was that I liked Nathan.