Chanmi could see the hurt and disappointment in Eric's eyes, and it hurt her. It hurt a lot, a physical pain in her heart, threatening to stop it from beating. Part of her wanted to scold herself for being dramatic. But mostly, she just hated seeing him like that. She wanted him to be happy.
But she had to protect herself. She had to put herself first.
So she had to distance herself from him. At least until after the interview. If the interview went smoothly, then they could go back to normal. Assuming he would forgive her.
She was scared. Scared that their closeness would be obvious during a joint interview. Scared that he'd laugh or joke around with her, or vice versa. Scared that they'd screw up and then she'd lose him for good.
Her job was at stake.
And she had nowhere else to go.
Chanmi didn't have any parents. She'd grown up in an orphanage, one very close to the Palace. She'd never been adopted. Since the orphanage was so close to the Palace, the King and Queen often did promotional charity runs.
That's how they noticed her. At 16, she'd been the typical rebellious teenager. She'd been very angry. Always seen as one of the "unadoptable", she'd given up finding a family. She'd been someone too sensitive and too angry, and one day when the King and Queen visited, they'd happened to see her picking a fight with one of the older boys.
They saw her win.
A few months later, she received an offer. The offer that changed her life.
They asked if she'd like to join the royal guard. They saw potential in her fighting, in the way she instinctively knew to use her body in ways that would benefit her in a fight. Obviously, she joined. Without hesitation.
At 16, she'd begun her training period. At 18, she'd become an official royal guard. Now, at 22, she was seen as the most talented. She'd worked her way up to the top, and now she was tasked with guarding the Prince. Prince Eric.
Her job was something she refused to put at risk. Not now, not ever.
She had nothing else she was good at. She had nowhere else to go. If the King and Queen kicked her out, she'd starve on the streets.
So she had to distance herself from Eric, from His Highness. At least for now.
"Chanmi," Eric sighed, grabbing her hand and turning her to face him. She yanked her hand out of his grasp, quickly looking around the hallway to make sure no one had seen.
"Yes, Your Highness?" she asked, straightening her blazer and trying to compose herself.
He stayed silent for a moment, and she could feel his unspoken words hovering in the air around them, suffocating her. "Follow me," he finally said, leading the way back to his room. When they entered his room and the door was locked behind them, he grabbed her hand again and led her over to the sofa.
She tried to pull her hand out of his grasp, but he held on tight. Her pulse fluttered at his touch, but she tried to ignore that.
Gosh, Eric. You have to stop with the skinship.
Before they reached the sofa she pulled her hand away, this time using her full strength. She got her hand out of his grasp, which resulted in him turning around to glare at her. At least, she assumed he was glaring. She wouldn't look him in the face anymore.
"Are you serious?" he snapped. "Why are we back to this? Tell me what's wrong? If it's the interview, I can find a way to cancel it. What, are you camera shy or something?" he sighed. She peeked up at him, to find that he'd turned away from her and was running a hand through his hair as he sighed in frustration.
"There's no need to cancel it, Your Highness," she said. "I have no reservations about the interview, and in fact would be happy to do it. I am happy to assist you in any way possible."
"You sound like a damn robot," he grumbled at her, turning back around. She was tempted to look up at his face, but wouldn't. That is, until he'd cupped her face in both his hands, gently tilting her chin up so that her eyes would meet his.
She tried hiding her look of surprise, but couldn't. Hiding her true emotions was something she was usually so good at, but somehow she could never do it correctly with him. Her eyes widened as they met his, and she felt herself blushing. She wondered if he could feel it too.
"What's wrong?" he whispered, his eyes soft and gentle, ready to understand whatever she would tell him. "Tell me honestly. Please... don't do this."
He looked like he'd understand, but would he really? Or would he call her selfish for choosing her job over him?
Chanmi clenched her jaw and stepped back, bowing to him.
"I apologize, Your Highness. Nothing is wrong, but I apologize for making you feel as though something is. Now, may I be dismissed?" she asked, checking her watch. There should be a guard outside his room now, in case of an emergency. She had her break, but of course, he knew how to get her in case he ever needed her.
She didn't dare to look at his face. He stepped towards her, reaching for her hand again, but as soon as their fingers brushed she stepped back.
"Please, Your Highness... refrain from treating me comfortably," she whispered, the words paining her to say. "I'm your guard, not your friend."
He was silent for a long moment.
"You're dismissed," he finally said in a cold voice, the words shooting daggers into her heart.
***
A/N
I managed to write this whole giant book in like, a week, but somehow writing the sequel is so much harder😭 It's giving me so much trouble ugh I'm just waiting for that big burst of inspiration I guess😩
Anyways, you may already know this, but I started two new tbz books, so please check them out if they look interesting to you!!
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