I cranck my music up trying to drown out the screaming coming from the kitchen as my mom and dad were fighting again. Tears well up in my eyes as my 5 year old little brother walks in my room with his favorit stuffed animal Mr.stuffy the dragon and walks over to me. You can see the tears streeming from his eyes as he walks in and snuggles up next to me and asks me " Saddy ate mommy and daddy going to disvors?" I look at him and start sobbing and say in a muffled voice " i dont know jammy I don't know?" With that we lay down on my bed and try to watch his favorite movie world war Z. Yes i know hes only 5 but he loves it. Eventually we pass out. Suddenly my alarm goes off "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" I hit snooz and walk more like shuffle to my bathroom and take a shower, put on my makeup, brush my teeth, and do my hair. Then i go to my closit and grab a pair of half red half black skinny jeans, my silver peramid belt, my escape the fate t-shirt, and black converses.. Then i hed down stairs grab my keys and my bag and go to school. Once at school i park my car and head in the building i have 20 minutes befor first block. So i pout my earbuds in and tern on knives and pens by black veil brides and go to my corner of the cort yard and sit down. Its not long after that that im greeted by a swift kick in the stomach from a jock. Atomaticly i hunch over in pain and the insalts start flowing" FAG" " Worthless piece of shit" " no one likes you why dont you go kill yourself Emo fagg" " bitch" " whor". The insults keep flowing befor the bell rings for first block soar and brused i trug to first block since. This isn't out of the ordinary. this happenes every day. So my first classes go by without drama. Its now time for lunch i hed to the cafeteria and sit in the corner i dont realy eat lunch just sit there thats when some one comes up behind me and puts me in a chokehold. I gag and start to flip out screeming till a teacher comes and sends me to the nurs. I get to go home for the rest of the day. Once i get home i go into my bathroom and shut the door. I then remove the blade from behind my mirror and drag its cold sharp serfice acros my wrist once,twice, a third time and then clean up the blood and put the blade back behind the mirror. Then leave my bathroom and play the song " hallow hearts" by avion roe and sing along " did you ever want to ever fall in love you had me from the start did you ever have a clue that i loved you chemical in dark blue but you don't have a clue that I loved you"
Then fall asleep. I wake up to my mom calling me for dinner i yell " im not hungry" i dont eat much and have a tendency to not eat at all sometimes. My mom yells back " theres leftovers in the frig if you want any." We try to eat and be in our rooms by 8:00 before dad gets home from work. Then we lock ourselves in our rooms for the night. Our dads a drunk and abusive. so our mom locks us in our rooms. Where we wait for him to sober out. last time she forgot and he almost beat the shit out of me and Jammy. luckily i locked us in my bathroom and we waited it out in there. theres a 70% chance he'll be drunk tonight he hasn't drank in 2 days so we don't know yet we hope not though.
