the little stories

too late - pjm

he stands in the crowded room, talking to a friend. he wanted to tell you, tonight. he wanted to tell you how happy you made him. how much of a light you are in his life. nothing would make him happier than to spend the rest of his life with you. he hadn't had the guts for a long time. he felt it tonight.

"i'm gonna go find her," he says. his friend nods, wishing him luck. he searches the room to find you. he walks around every corner, looking.

he stops in his tracks when he sees you. when he sees you with your lips pressed to someone else's.

not his.

he feels a weight on his shoulders. his throat tightens. he feels like crying. he can't. not here.

you make eye contact with him. you smile.

he looks away. he turns and walks out of the room. you run after him. you grab his arm and ask what's wrong. he pulls his arm away.

"i'm gonna leave," you tell him he can't leave. the party just started. he shakes his head. "i don't care."

you start to get mad. you raise your voice. you tell him he needs to stop. how he should be enjoying himself. how he's been so stressed out this entire week over nothing.

he looks at you in disbelief. "you've gotta be fucking kidding me, right?" you watch tears well up in his eyes. you furrow your eyebrows together. he grabs his hair.

"how can i enjoy myself when i see you with someone else?" he says. your face falls.

"i've been stressed because i've been trying to find the courage and the right words to talk to you," his tears fall. "how much i love you."

you stay frozen in your spot. he continues.

"when i look at you.." his voice trails off. he shakes his head. "i can't begin to describe how i feel."

his tears fall faster. your hands start to shake.

"you make me want to be somebody. somebody for you."

you don't take your eyes off him. he wipes his cheeks.

"do you not feel anything when you look at me?" he asks.

you say nothing. you didn't want to. you didn't know he felt this way. he caught you off guard. you didn't want to make him feel worse.

too late.

he nods at your silent response. he laughs. he shakes his head. "you go. go with him," he gestures towards the door.

"you're gonna make him happy. i know i would be if i had you," he nods. he turns and leaves the building.

you stay in your spot. you couldn't move. you didn't know what to do. there was nothing you could do.

he's in love with you. you feel nothing.

and you just had to live with knowing that you destroyed him. every single bit of him.