Before Her Eyes (Constance Langdon x OC)

Apprehension And Distraction

The morning light hit Cassandra's eyes and she squinted into it. Shading her eyes against the glare, she cast her glance to Constance, who lay beside her, still asleep. As much as she wanted to stay for breakfast and pretend everything was fine, she knew she couldn't, not today. She'd explain everything to her soon enough, but now, she had a few things to take care of.

She got out of Constance's bed and the sudden lack of coverage that the sheets had provided sent a chill through her body as she reached for her clothes that were scattered haphazardly across the floor. Slipping back into them, Cassandra looked regretfully at Constance. She felt so guilty about just leaving without a word, but she could see no other solution at the moment. Did she regret what happened last night? She didn't think so. It had been a rash decision on her part, but she could never regret being with Constance.

Cassandra dreaded going back to the house. Everything would be just how she left it, unless Moira had tidied up the mess she'd made. That was unlikely, as Moira and her had reached an understanding about the state of her library and office space. Still, she wasn't sure she could face it. And what was she going to do anyway? She had her answer, but somehow she still lacked a solution. She couldn't just accuse him over the phone. She wasn't about to fly out to see him in person. Did she even want to, knowing what she knew now? But she couldn't just continue on with her life when he was still out there. The police wouldn't do shit for her. No evidence, no crime. Hadn't that been what they'd told her once? All she had were some page numbers and the man's book and that was hardly enough to reopen a six year old cold case. She knew she'd have to do something, but she'd have to do whatever it was by herself.

She stood at the phone, staring at it in near catatonia for almost an hour. In one swift motion, she finally picked it up and called him, hoping she could hold everything together until she was done with the call. Her heart skipped a beat when he picked up the phone. "Phineas," she began.

"Cassandra, is that you? I haven't heard from you since before the move. How are you liking California?"

"It's fine," she replied, a bit brusquely, before mentally reminding herself to keep calm. "A bit too warm, but it's okay." She couldn't believe the ease in which she was handling this conversation. "Would you like to visit," she asked, surprising herself as the words fell from her lips. "I have some research I'd like to run by you." She was starting to feel sick at how easily the lies came one after another. She didn't know what she was doing, but whatever it was, it was too late to take any of it back.

"I'd be honored, of course. How does next month look for you? I'm headed off on sabbatical starting the first. I could be to California in no more than a week from then."

Cassandra stuttered a bit. "I, um, yeah, that sounds great. I don't think I have anything planned other than the usual articles and such." She gulped. Her ability to lie was starting to fade. She was getting too worked up hearing his voice on the phone. She did still have her articles, but the and such was a bit fudged. She didn't have her research anymore. She had her answer. What was she supposed to do for the next month besides sit in her house and go stir crazy?

"Great. I cannot wait to see you. I'll book a flight tonight and email you with the details. Until then," he trailed off, waiting for her to reciprocate the pleasantry.

"Until then," she echoed on autopilot. The call disconnected and she slammed it on the table. She used to look forward to seeing this man every day. Just the thought of that now made her stomach wrench. How she'd managed that conversation was a marvel.

Cassandra picked the phone up again, assuring she didn't break it. She hadn't, not even a crack, despite her excessive use of force. Shaking off her jitters, she made a call to Constance, apologizing to her for leaving the way she did, and inviting her over. She believed she was going to be seeing a lot more of Constance in the coming month. It might be the only way she was going to stay sane until her visit with Phineas Black. Another shudder ran through her. Now even his name evoked a visceral response in her. She had to try and stop thinking about it.

Constance came over that evening, any indiscretion forgotten between them. Constance had made less of a fuss about Cassandra's early morning departure than Cassandra had. It was a relief to Cassandra to have one less thing for her to worry about. Putting the whole thing behind them, they sat down to dinner as they often did, and shared a nice meal. Cassandra had realized she wasn't as bad of a cook as she originally thought. Not that she considered picking it up as a hobby, but she was no longer a disaster in the kitchen like she had been during her college years.

She was able to forget her problems when she was with Constance, and if there was one thing she needed right now, it was that. In addition, she also buffed up her workload by taking on some more articles for various magazines and blogs, signed up for a couple of small speaking engagements locally, and spending many of her mornings, afternoons and nights with Constance. And of course there was always Simon for when she did find herself without human company.

The ghostly residents mostly kept to themselves, though Cassandra did run into a bit of a rough patch when she was at her worst in dealing with her big revelation. It was like they were antagonizing her, daring her to add herself to their numbers. A little bit of a dive into spirit exorcisms and banishments was all it took for Cassandra to put that problem to rest. The comfortable familiarity of research followed by a real, practical solution was enough to make Cassandra feel like she was on top of the world.

When the date of Phineas's arrival approached, she was back to feeling apprehensive. She told Constance about her plans to see him over lunch, leaving out the vital detail of him being her family's killer. She didn't want Constance to say, or heaven forbid, even do anything about it if she told her, so she decided it would be best not to say anything about it at all. She didn't even know what she was going to do about it. All she knew for sure is that she wanted to hear him say it to her face. Then she'd definitively know that this wasn't all some sick joke or utterly insane coincidence.

"Do you want me to come over for dinner that night, to put you at ease?"

"What?" Cassandra was taken away from her thoughts when Constance spoke up. "Oh, no. I'll be fine. I just haven't seen him in so long," Cassandra played off, though even to her, the explanation fell flat. Constance must have sensed her anxiety about the whole thing, and if she thought anything was fishy about her deflection, she said nothing. "Can I call you after though, just in case."

Constance smiled warmly. "You don't have to ask. Of course you may. I'll only be a call, or a door away." Constance rose from her seat and stepped over to Cassandra who remained in her chair. Bending down and placing a kiss on her cheek, Constance bid her farewell.

As the few remaining days crept by, Cassandra became more and more on edge. What was she going to do? Hell, what was she even going to say? How was she going to get him to admit to what he'd done? Should she record their conversation? Would that be enough to get him arrested? So many questions ran through her mind and so very few answers. And finally, the day came. He'd emailed her that morning. He'd be in by dinner that night.