I'm very upset

My love

This is an unsent letter. The picture is what the person looked like when I knew them. 

Hi. It both warms and hurts my heart when I think of you. It warms my heart because you are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out and I love the memories we shared together. It hurts my heart because you are gone now, I hate with every bone in my body that I can't talk to you and that I couldn't even say goodbye to you, or hug you. Even though you are no longer here in my life, and will never get the chance to read this letter I have to express my appreciation for you. Heaven knows you deserve it. You deserved everything, and I am sorry you didn't even get the bare minimum. First of all, I want to start by addressing that beautiful toothy smile you greeted me with every day. If I ever feel as though I am not loved I think of that smile, I think of how important someone must be to deserve that and I feel better. Second your eyes, you know how much I loved those. People always say eyes are the window to the soul and this was particularly accurate with you. I knew exactly how you were feeling, and what you were thinking when I looked at them. Only the purest of souls deserves windows like yours. Third, your strength. You are the strongest person I know. The stuff you experienced at only 12 years old is hard for even fully grown and mature adults to deal with, but you took each step with hope and confidence. You took each step and each breath with pure undeniable strength, and because of that, I was inspired to do the same. Thank you for taking an otherwise traumatic and painful experience and making it a beautiful memory. As each day goes on our time together fades but I will never forget you. I will never forget the positive impact you had on everyone, especially myself. I can't forget the person who pulled me out of the cold water and handed me a warm dry towel. I will always think about the beautiful girl who loved and appreciated me. Thank you for listening to me and understanding me when it felt like no one else would. I remember when we would sit together by the library and talk and talk about what we wanted to do when we got out of there and where we wanted to go. It was easy to talk to you because you never judged, and you always tried to be understanding. I thank you for keeping me company. I can't explain the excitement and pure joy I felt when you walked into the dayroom each morning. Or when you knocked on my room wall late at night. I hope with everything I have that You felt the same way. I wish I knew what you are doing right now, or how you feel. I wish I knew if you are even still walking this earth. Thank you for saving my life, I love you.