Beautiful Nightmare

ch 1

“ Mumma please.. At least suno toh sahi”

Dia pleaded, following a very stoic and stern Shehnaaz as she roamed and skimmed around the room, tidying it up.. Dia could be so messy, it ached her head..

“ Mumma at least talk to me no!”

She whined again. Shehnaaz took the discarded clothes from the couch and places them in the bin.. The whole room was so untidy.. She cringed inside.. This had always been her negative point.. A messy house.. Specially, when she is pissed.. The untidiness would piss her more..

“ Can you not clean up your own shit Dia.. This is so fucked up everywhere.. Just takes a few minutes you know. There’s a bin for dirty clothes.. And your books have a shelf..”

She admonished, totally ignoring her pleas, taking up the books thrown all over her bed and pile them up properly into the shelf.. She has a big one.. She has everything a 16 year old would need and even something more.. She had tried to fulfil her daughters every little demand within her possibility.

But this time, she just couldn’t.. Her demand, it wasn’t anything exorbitant, yet she just couldn’t.

“ mom, why are you avoiding my question.. Please, listen to me for once. You got to listen to me for once.. You cannot dictate me like that.. It’s my life.. Let me live it my way!”

Dia spat out, popping down on her bed.. Her mother was being a little too obstinate and she was loosing her cool..

“ Oh yes, your life, yes.. Yes..”

Shehnaaz muttered, as the reality settled in.. Was she really dictating her life?  She was just scares for her safety! Could a mother not worry for her daughter?

“ fuck!! I didn’t mean that.. Am so sorry.. Mom, I’m sorry..”

Dia apologised, guiltily.. Shehnaaz flopped on the bed, crestfallen..

“ Am I dictating your life Dia? Kya main tumhe jeene nahi de rahi hu? Is that so? Is that what you think of me?”

She whispered, face ghast and fallen.. She felt so shaky inside.. Dia, she was all she had in the name of a family.. It was just her and her daughter.. Had always been just the two of them.. Since forever.. Since the time she had learnt life the hard way.. Since the time she herself was a child.. A mere 17 year old child..

“ no no no no no.. Please don’t overthink.. You are the coolest mother one could ever think of having.? Please mom, please I’m sorry..”

Dia scooted close to her mother and laid herself on her lap.. She’s all she ever had.. It had always been just her mother and herself.. All their life. Since the time she had known life. Had opened her eyes to this world, it had just been her mother beside her.. Always..

Shehnaaz cradled her closer with a sigh, raking her fingers through her hair.. She had always tried to be lenient towards raising her daughter.. A lot lenient than most.. And had been reprimanded for the same from so many older women here in their society.. Yet, nothing had compelled her to change her way.. She had wanted her daughter to be tough.. Tough and strong, a lot headstrong to face this cruel world on her own.. And had provided her with every amenities for the same she could out a hand on.. Had tried to give her the beat of life she could conjure up within her limited resources.. If not monetarily, then with her advices, her leniency.. Yet now, she felt she had lacked so immensely..

“ Do you really think I dictate your life? Kya maine tumhe poora freedom. Nahi diya hai Dia?? Where did I fail? Kaha chuk gayi main?”

She asked, as Dia pulled herself up to look at her hurting mother.. She had not meant to, but her words had come out wrong..