Over the deep end

Chpt.47 Im Not Leaving

I reached home about an hour later. I took my time, stopping to watch some kids play in their yard, watching leaves sway on their branches, watching the sun travel through the sky. I was enjoying my day.
It was almost 11 when I walked in the door. I had been gone for nearly 6 hours. 6 life changing hours.
My clothes were damp, but not soaking wet. My hair was up in a messy bun, tangled in a big knot.
My mother was on the couch, starting out the window. I stopped to watch her for a minute. She just looked. I could tell she was thinking. I notice my note was in her hand. I had left it on the counter. It simply said that I was going for a walk. That's all.
"Mom." I said. She turned to face me, getting up and walking towards me. Her arms were open and I could finally see her face. Her eyes were red, like she had been crying.
She enveloped me in a hug, wrapping her arms around mine.
"Mom?" I repeated. "Are you okay?"
"Claire. I thought... I thought you meant..." She was crying again. "I thought you left...for good."
I stopped hugging her and pulled away slightly.
"I went...for a walk." I told her. "A good one too."
"But...you left so early, and- wait, where did you go? You were gone all morning! And why are your clothes wet?"
"I went to the beach." I answered. "And, I took and unexpected swim. But I'm okay. Better actually."
"Oh honey, I'm sorry. I just...thought the worst. You didn't call, and your note was so vague. I thought...that you..." She broke down into sobs against my shoulder.
"Mom. Mom!" I got her attention. " I'm fine! I'm here. I didn't...do anything. I'm not leaving. I won't leave you. Okay?"
I felt guilty. I almost commit suicide. My mother thought I had. If I actually had of, then who knows what would have happened to her. I can't leave her. She needs me, and honestly, I need her.
I'm just sad that it took so long to realize.