When no one sees us

WHEN NO ONE SEES US

The classroom Natalie sat in was crowded and noisy, but it was something she had gotten used to for the last 4 years of her college classes. It was the same every day and even though she loved her student life, being surrounded by her classmates and their constant chatter would be one thing she was certain would never miss once she graduated next month.
There was something, or someone, who surpassed all that could go wrong: a brown-haired man and beautiful dark eyes. Nathalie smiled as he gracefully pushed back his black-rimmed glasses that slipped down his nose and paced around the room speaking about Shakespeare. The grace he possessed captivated every single student in his class, perhaps was also the passion he transmitted with every single word that left his lips.
Nathalie’s eyes linger longer on his lips and couldn’t help but blush. Especially at the memories it brought about last night’s events. If she closed her eyes for a second, she could still feel his hands caressing every inch of her body, making her moan his name and his rosy lips whispering tender words in her ear.
Nathalie instinctively licked her lips, and suddenly his eyes landed on her. He shared a soft smile that was mostly perceived by her, and she shifted in her seat.
The whole ‘dating your professor is frowned upon’ kept repeating in her head like an annoying song she couldn’t stop singing. Nathalie had tried, unsuccessfully, to stay away from him for their sake but there was something that somehow pulled her back into his arms.
The class moved abruptly, and suddenly her attention was back to her surroundings. Nathalie grabbed her belongings and nodded along as her friends made plans for the evening, occasionally faking a laugh at whenever they said. Her attention, though, was elsewhere or on someone else.
He was wearing her favorite shirt; the baby blue one she had given him for his birthday. They were not supposed to get together that day either; he was spending time with his colleagues, but he still escaped and shared one last moment with her. In her apartment, the one she shared with two of her friends, he stayed the night they fell asleep in each other’s arms, not even caring about the outside world.
“Mrs. Diaz, stay for a couple of minutes. I have some things to discuss with you,” Professor Mateo Balmaceda said.
A few of her classmates’ faces turned in her direction. Nathalie pretended she feared whatever her teacher wanted to say and faked a worried reaction before they walked away. They were, however, oblivious to its true meaning and her heart raced with each passing minute, especially by the way he was looking at her; the desire written in his brown eyes.
Her friends waved her goodbye, and she did the same. She heard the door close behind them and Nathalie She shared a smile, and he replied with one of his own.
Words were not needed at this point. They knew how much they were waiting for this. It had been three days since they had the chance to be alone. Nathalie knew that with the upcoming graduation, Mateo’s office was filled with papers he had to revise. Therefore, she never pushed him to see her unless he could.
He took his glasses off, put them on top of his messy desk, and strolled towards her. Nathalie was more than ready for him and as she felt her heart raced again, the first thought that crossed her mind was how much she hadn’t fathomed, how much she missed him, until he grabbed his hand and gently pulled her towards him. She could finally feel the warmth of his body against her chest and for a moment everything fell right.
“Hi” Nathalie whispered against his body as he wrapped his strong arms around her waist. She inhaled his scent, tried to memorize it like she usually did. It helped her get through her lonely nights, when she woke up in wee hours, dreaming with his touch and kisses. “I’ve missed you”
“Yeah, me too. Sorry I’ve been so busy. I wanted to call you yesterday, but I got caught up with a bunch of paperwork,” Mateo said. He released her hold just so he could look at her and caressed her cheek ever so softly. “You look beautiful today,”
“You clean up nice yourself. I see you’re wearing my birthday present,” Nathalie said with a smile.
“How could I not? It reminds me of you. Everything about you,” Mateo whispered, his face only inches away from hers. He dropped a featherlike kiss on her lips before pulling away, though reluctantly. Even when the moment was short, Nathalie couldn’t help but melt under his touch.
When she could finally look at his face, the expression of happiness he had once shown had been replaced by one of concern.
“Is everything okay?” Nathalie asked him with worry in her voice.
“There’s a reason I asked you to stay, besides wanting to see you, of course,” Mateo confessed, avoiding her gaze as he spoke. Nathalie’s concerns grew with each passing minute. “I got a job offer—”
Nathalie smiled widely and gave him a tight hug, one he responded gratefully. “That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you—”
“—in California” Mateo finished.
“Oh—that’s 42 hours away,” Nathalie said.
Though the mere idea of being away from him did not look exactly pleasing, Nathalie was thrilled for him. He had once told her all the sacrifices he had made to become a professor, leaving his mother and two brother behind and work as the youngest on campus and how he had to prove he was good at his job. The semester was almost over, which meant he would be unemployed soon. She couldn’t be as selfish as to ask him to stay just for her, no matter how much she wanted.
“I haven’t said yes yet. They’re still waiting for an answer,” Mateo said quickly. Nathalie swallowed the lump forming in her throat.
“I think you should say yes,” Nathalie whispered. Mateo’s frown deepened “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want you to lose your job, you deserve this more than anyone and you need this. I know being away from each other doesn’t sound appealing—for neither of us,”
“We don’t have to be,” Mate stated. Nathalie frowned with confusion “Come with me”
It was so simple, yet so complicated. Nathalie loved him. Even though their relationship had been purely physical at first, she fell for him hard and unintentionally. He was attractive, she couldn’t deny it, but it was the way he treated her, as if she was the most important person in his life, that made her fall. The fact he was ten years her senior didn’t matter anymore. What mattered was that he gave him everything he needed and more.
Nathalie’s heart screamed for her to say yes, to run away with him and live with the love she had dreamed of, but the rational part whispered that going away meant Mateo might forget about the importance of his job, to focus solely on her. She wanted for him to do what he deserved, even if that meant she had to step away, no matter how much it hurt.
“I can’t do that—” Nathalie replied.
“Why not? It’s perfect. We could start from zero. I have the new job, I can help you find something once we’re settled. There’s absolutely nothing that can stop us now,” Mateo said.
Nathalie pushed herself off the desk and walked away from him to a spot near the door in case she needed to run away. “I don’t know. I don’t think this is the right thing to do.”
Mateo stared at her with a mix of hurt and disappointed. “So what—what are you saying? We’re gonna be together until you graduate and that’s it?”
Nathalie felt a tear running down her cheek and wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand. If ending everything would make him consider being successful, then she would have to. Even if that would break her.
“Let’s be honest. Did you really think this could last this long? The sex was great. I can’t deny it, but come on! We’re so different. You have aspirations, and I only have dreams that might never come true,” Natalie responded, stoic. She hoped she could at least lie about the meaning of their relationship enough to make him leave.
“That’s a whole lot of bullshit, and you know it,” Mateo hissed.
“Well—relationships like ours are complicated. I’m sure you know it too,” Nathalie said, her voice breaking just a little.
“Does that mean you want me to leave?” Mateo asked her.
“Yes. You’re better off without me. Trust me,” Nathalie replied. 
A heavy silence fell between them. Nathalie could see the pain written in his eyes, and even though she was hurting too, she tried to hide it as much as she could.
“Okay—this a goodbye then?” Mateo spoke. Nathalie nodded slowly. When he realized she would not say another word, he turned his back to her and put his glasses on again while he focused on anything but her face. “Don’t let the hit you on your way out”
Nathalie froze on her stop for a few seconds, allowing her erratic heart to stop its pace. Her chest felt heavy with a little of regret at seeing his reaction, and she knew if she stayed longer, she would break down right in front of him, so she had to move.
Grabbing her belongings, Nathalie walked the remaining steps towards the door. Before she made her way out, she looked over her shoulder, hoping he would stare back at her. He wasn’t.
Now it was all over.
Xxxxx
Nathalie wasn’t the one to cry for a man, but she had a heart and feelings. She wasn’t made of stone. Her heart had beaten crazily for two men in her twenty-five years of living. The first man, Richard, had been what she thought was true love. He was smart, charismatic and a bit if a nerd, absolutely perfect for her. Too bad that he was also perfect for two other girls.
The second was the man who currently had her crying her eyes out on her couch, with her best friend sitting right next to her, watching her wipe away her tears for the tenth time in less than an hour.
“I just don’t understand why on earth would you let him go?” Julia asked her. Nathalie sobbed and puffed.
“Because—he doesn’t know he’s making a mistake. I can’t go with him.”
“Why? You’ll graduate soon. This is the perfect time to go away and star anew and with the man you love,” Julia said.
“He—he doesn’t love me. He loves the excitement of a new relationship, not me.” Nathalie said, fresh tears running down her pale cheeks.
“Did he tell you this? Did he, specifically, tell you he didn’t love you?” Julia questioned her.
Nathalie tried to recall the last time they were together, not taking into consideration the last conversation, and even though images were the first thing that came to her mind, she remembered falling asleep in his arms and tender words whispered into her ear. None of those words included a declaration of love.
“He never said it. He has never, not even once, told me he loves me—so he might as well not,” Nathalie responded with fresh tears running down her face.
“Nat, talk to him. You need to,” Julia pleaded.
“And tell him what? I’m not gonna ask him to stay just because I need him. He fought for this, and he deserves. Who am I to just ruin his career?,” Nathalie said.
Julia opened her mouth to give Nathalie a reply, but a soft knock on the door interrupted her. Both women frowned and looked at each other. It was too late to receive a visit, but either way, they were curious to know who it was.
Julia opened the door quickly and was shocked to find Mateo, hands in his pockets, right in front of her. She didn’t say a word, just moved aside to let him in.
“She’s in the living room,” Julia told him before he could say a word.
Mateo moved towards the familiar room. He had been in Nathalie’s apartment many times before, as a friend and as a lover who was hiding from the world. Though Julia knew about their relationship, Nathalie’s friends did not and they wanted things to remain private.
“Hi” Mateo spoke softly. Nathalie, who was in a fetal position on the couch with tissues around her and covered with a blanket, stood up the second she heard his voice.
“What—what are you doing here?” Nathalie asked. He stepped forward, and suddenly she felt the urge to jump into his arms and hold him tight.
“The things you said today, about me being better off without you, that’s—the biggest lie I’ve ever heard you say. You are the only reason I didn’t say yes when the job was offered to me a month ago. I knew, from the moment I received that phonecall, that going away would mean I’d have to forget about us and I just—can’t bare my life without you in it. You have all right to ignore what I’m saying, stay here and live whatever life you want. But don’t you ever tell me I’ll be better off without you because you’re the only reason I’m still standing. That’s all I wanted to say,”
She blurted the last words and as she remained frozen on her spot, Mateo was strolling towards the door after not getting a response from her. His head vowed and hands in his pocket again.
“You’re leaving, just like that?” Nathalie spoke finally. He turned his head towards her, his hand still at the doorknob, ready to walk away “You come here, tell me how much you need me and then you walk away—without hearing what I have to say?”
“You already said enough today, and it’s okay. But you’re right. I can’t just walk away without saying something else—” Mateo stopped mid-sentence to take a deep breath and then the words left his lips, so easily that it shook her “I love you and I always will. Even if I can’t see you anymore—I will love you forever.”
“You have no right—” Nathalie spoke, her voice shaking with emotion. Him, listening closely “to tell me you love and me and leave me like this. You can’t—just leave, Mateo, when you haven’t heard me say I love you too,”
Mateo gave her a loving smile and held her face between his warm hands. Nathalie leaned into his touch, closing her eyes for a few seconds and then, in a blink of an eye, she was in his arms again, listening to the beating of his heart.
“Just so you know, I won’t let you go that easy,” Mateo said, and she smiled against his chest.
“I don’t want you to—” Nathalie whispered. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her closer. She didn’t want to move, she wanted to stay like that forever. “I’ll go with you. I’ll go with you wherever you want me to”
Nathalie pulled herself away enough to look at his face, at the beautiful grin he shared with her. It has been so long since she had seen him so happy and it warmed her heart.
“Are you sure?”
“Maybe I’ll need a bit of convincing on your part. Not here, though. We have an audience,” Nathalie said. They turned their heads towards the small kitchenette, where Julia pretended to clean the counter, though she wiped the same spot over and over again.
“Lets go to my apartment, we can talk and—” Mateo moved closer to whisper something in her ear, with a seductive tone “I’ll do some things to convince you,”
Nathalie giggled as he grabbed her hand and guided her towards the door. They both waved at Julia, who had the biggest smile Nathalie had ever seen before and closed the door behind them.
THE END.