because i met you

Introduction

I never knew what I wanted in life.

Not really at least. I realize now that what I thought I wanted for myself, was never really what I wanted. But only what I wanted to want. The things that I wanted to want for myself, were what others wanted for me.

And when I realized that, I was able to realize what I really wanted.

I never knew but subconsciously, I knew that I never wanted to get married. I thought I might have. I pictured the dream wedding because I wanted to be normal. But in reality I never really wanted that.

I hated the idea of something as small as sharing a bed. I never really knew why. I just knew that I did. Maybe it's because I like the idea of being able to move around as I pleased I guess.

I always wanted to go through a heartbreak. One of those heartbreaks that you never really get over. I wanted to have a "the one that got away". I was a hopeless romantic who read about love in countless books. I grew up believing that love was real and that there was one true person meant for you out in the world. A soulmate if you want to put it that way. And that you would find them and live the white picket fence life that everyone seemed to want. The life that I thought I wanted. A life that everyone wanted me to have.

I had a plan. A great plan to be honest. I would graduate from high school and go to a college an hour away from home and would be back home whenever I could. I had always wanted to go into the medical field. So I decided to become a nurse. I would get married and have kids.

That was the basics of my plan. A plan that would have happened. A plan that should have happened. A plan that everyone else wanted to happen.

But that plan never happened. Why?

Because of you.

Because I met you.