MUSHK

GUILT AND FORGIVENESS

      The girl understood how great of a woman his mother was. She wanted to apologize but her misdeeds felt like a barrier that stopped her from going ahead . She felt like being crushed under a big heap of guilt. She loved Ins but this is not what she wanted. She wanted Ins to forget his mother but what was she thinking ? " What have I done !! " , she thought . Her eyes got watery she couldn't even seem to make contact with herself.  Ins' mother on seeing this addressed Anya :
      " Anya , I hope you've learnt your lesson. God has given us so many blessings . We should never get jealous of what somebody has and learn to be satisfied in all states . Such cunning acts will get you nowhere. I'm pretty sure you had something in you that my son liked . But the side you've shown today doesn't make me think good about you. Go home and think about it. " , she said patting her shoulder. She could neither say thank you nor sorry . She was just left staring at her own soul trying to figure out the meaning of life . It was a dark night. Her respect for Ins' mother had skyrocketed after that incident.
       One day when Ins was going to a restaurant with his family. Mushk saw a kind girl helping an old man . She was really pleased to see that . Then she started to see her more often.She was always helping people around . She began to wonder who she was.

     ( Ins had not married in those years and he still had a soft space for Anya in his heart.)
         One day, when Mushk was in the mall with Ins, she saw that girl again. She was buying some food for some orphans. The children were sitting on the table waiting for the food they were gonna taste for the first time in their life. She decided to talk to the pious girl whom she had been observing for quite a few days now. Mushk approached the girl who had just seated on the table with the beautiful children enjoying the food. The happiness was obvious in her eyes. Mushk addressed her. She turned her head to see who she was and when she saw Mushk , she froze in her place. She was ashamed to look at her. ( She was ANYA .)
         Years had gone by. She never saw Ins after that. She tried to change herself. She tried to bring out the angel in herself in all those years. She started helping people out more to make herself feel at peace. She learnt to be happy in other people's happiness. Her mother had died during her birth. Her father was a businessman so he couldn't spend much time with her . Her father left her with her caretaker . But she always missed her mother. She got jealous whenever she saw someone talking happily to their mother. She couldn't stand the fact that people are allowed to enjoy the relationship she never had a chance to experience. She used to help people . She was nice but she got jealous of relationships. That's one thing that she couldn't stand and maybe somewhere in the jealousy, she was losing her true  self. But the incident with Ins' mother , her way of talking , her words ; they changed her life. She realized that people have different problems going on in their lives . Don't look at what you don't have and what others have. Maybe there's something that they don't have but you do. Remember to be happy in all states. Try to find out the good in every happening .
          She still loved Ins but didn't have the courage to face him. One day , she was helping an old man cross the road as usual . That's when Ins was going to a restaurant with his family. Mushk saw the kind girl helping the old man .
           ( She hadn't recognized him because she had started to wear a jilbab , long loose-fitting garment worn by some Muslim women, and a niqab, a garment that covers the face. )
           Mushk asked her what her name was. She told her how she had been observing her for quite a few days and that she was really touched by her kind acts. Anya was burying under her feelings , she was unable to say anything. Her actions were circulating all around her mind. She was really afraid of the consequence. What would happen when Mushk would get to know the real identity of the kind girl she saw. Her past was bugging her . She felt a heap of regret . She wanted to bury her face in a wall. She didn't feel like she could talk to Mushk.

       Mushk kept looking at her as she wasn't responding. She asked if everything's okay. Anya gathered some courage and said yes. She was literally sweating because of the pressure she was feeling in that moment. Her one YES made Mushk realize that she was Anya. But she didn't say it and continued to praise her and told her that she really liked her. Anya was overwhelmed . She was happy but she was frightened about the fact that she was not the same in past and that Mushk would get to know who she is eventually and she wouldn't like her anymore. Mushk could see the repentance in her eyes . She could feel a powerful positive aura around her. She asked her about her family and asked if she was married. She knew that his son still had feelings for Anya. She didn't want her to decay under guilt and her past deeds.
         When Mushk asked about marriage, Anya felt like she's betraying her(Mushk) ,that she's lying to Ins' mother . She felt this urge to tell her that she's the same Anya who had once tried to destroy the beautiful relationship she had with her son .
           Finally , Mushk asked pointing towards her son: " Do you still love him enough ? Enough that you wouldn't want to share him with anybody ? "
         Anya got surprised , she didn't know whether to feel happy or ashamed . The thought of her reality being disclosed to Ins' mother really hurt her. Shivers went down her spine. She didn't know how to respond. Then Mushk comforted her by saying ," We're defined by what we do today. What happened in the past should stay in the past . You've repented and changed . Nobody, not even I, has the right to bug you by reminding you of what you did in the past. We all are toxic at some points in our life. But those are the things from which we learn and grow. So , calm down. "
         This really helped Anya. She was astonished at the words and once again fell into a river of respect for Mushk. She apologized and thanked her for being so kind. Mushk then told her that she's coming to her home to ask for her hand. Anya couldn't express her happiness. Mushk assured her that she had no hard feelings for her. Then Ins came to his mother and greeted the woman she didn't know was Anya.
         Mushk had mentioned the kind girl so many times in front of Ins and had already asked him if he wants to marry her. He really liked her kindness so he agreed but he didn't know that his mother had gone to talk to her. He was surprised but happy to see that girl. Anya didn't know if Ins would like her. She thought Ins started hating her after that so she didn't know if he'd want to marry her.  Then Mushk asked him if a girl's past matters to him or not. He replied by saying that what happened in anybody's past is between them and God. But what's in their present is what's important . Mushk finally told him that she's Anya. He stood there silent for some time. He kept staring at Anya as if it wasn't real. Finally he spoke. Surprisingly he wasn't angry . He spoke in such a soft tone that it melted Anya's heart. He said, " How are you Anya ? " ,with little tears forming in his eyes. Anya also burst into tears . He then said , " Look at you. You've changed but your acts, your deeds that's the Anya I had fallen in love with. "
     Then both the families met and finally Anya and Ins were married.
     HE WAS PROUD TO BE HER SON AND SHE WAS PROUD TO BE HER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.