3 AM

Chapter 4

Eren hasn't texted me for five days now. It’s his fault I kicked him out that morning though, he knows I hate anything remotely personal. Our conversations so far have been pretty one sided, mostly it was him talking about life back at his small hometown, Shiganshina and how much he missed his sister and friends. When he did ask me questions they were nice and simple, where's the t.v. remote, do you want burritos for dinner, bad sci-fi movie or lame slasher horror film?   

I don't like missing people or places. I keep walking in front of me, unable to look back. Because once you look back, there's the possibility that there's nothing left to look at. Sometimes its like those horror movies and some poor schmuck is on the big screen with some psycho killer behind him with a mask on and you tell the schmuck not to turn around but they do anyways. That's how you get hurt. Reality is always right behind you, waiting for you to look at it, waiting to stab you with the truths that do more harm than good.  

I decide to text Hanji, I need to get out of my place as soon as possible. I feel like I'm inside a balloon and someone is slowly letting all of the air out of it. My chest is getting tight and I find myself forgetting to breathe, I jab my thumbs on my phone and wait for Hanji's reply.  

Four Eyes : Oh wow, Levi texting ME for once? I'm having lunch with Erwin right now! You should join us!  

God damnit. I swipe my messenger bag off the kitchen island and stomp out of my apartment complex and start to enter the darkening city. The clouds are swollen and plump with rain, it’s only a matter of time when they begin their thunderous bitching and moaning and drench us all. I'm not particularly hungry or thirsty so I decide to go to the local park.   

The park is pretty empty which satisfies my misanthropic soul and I admire the green grass speckled with dew and the bright red and blue of the children's playset in front of me. I walk over to a swing and wipe it down, seat and chains, then rest myself upon it. The park is so out of place in the city. Full of tall trees and little birds pecking around for food, quiet and isolated from the barking horns of cars and fast talking coffee holders. I feel my phone vibrate and my hands just about tear my phone out of my pants but I find myself looking at a self-made reminder that I need to buy new towels.  

My legs kick in and out and I start to swing, I think about who I thought that might have been. Why did I expect the word ‘Brat’ to pop up on my screen? Why am I expecting anything? I mean I get a day or two of ignoring me but its been nearly a week now, maybe he lost his phone or something. I mean hell, he almost left his shoes at my place so why wouldn't he leave his phone somewhere else? Or did he just give up on me? Usually I would go with that idea but that lil shit is too stubborn to just quit me cold turkey, he's been begging for my attention practically the moment we met. Maybe something bad happened to him.  

I remember images that I wish I could erase.   

I see the blood spewing thick jagged line on her neck, bathing in a pool of red, her eyes forever unblinking. I see him beside her, with his hands pressed down on his torso, his hands coated in a thick layer of crimson, coughing up more and more red, eyes looking at me in intolerable agony.  

I now find myself running, sprinting, fucking leaping around pointy nosed strangers with angry stares but I don't mind. I see the sign now, big and golden,"Garrison Records", and I nearly slam into the door at the momentum I'm going at. My blue rain-boots squeak that familiar squeak on the mat and I'm huffing and puffing like the fucking wolf in The three Little Pigs. My eyes land on a long faced dirty blonde with a messy undercut, he's staring at me like he's not sure whether he should ask me if I'm okay or say Welcome. I decide he's going to say neither because I ask him immediately,