I can still recall how he reacts when i said I'm pregnant with his baby.
"what?! no you can't be!" "you gotta be kidding me maeve"kitang kita sa mukha niya ang takot, pangangamba at ibat ibang reaksyon dahil sa kanyang nalaman.
"I'm just kidding ano ka ba, you look so scared, how can i be pregnant eh nag tatake ako pills remember?" i lied, i am really pregnant but in his reaction i know hindi niya gusto ang narinig kaya kahit masakit sinabi ko na nagbibiro lamang ako.
"don't do it again okay?" my constantine said
lumabas ako ng kaniyang opisina pagkatapos ng ilang paguusap at pagpasok sa elevator at doon ko binuhos ang lahat ng luha ko dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman. how dare him to react that way, after he moans my name every we make love and he didn't used protection he has guts to react that way huh.
I still remember how we share that night it's almost a month nung huli kami nag make love na hindi gumamit ng proteksyon dahil sa sobrang kasabikan niya ay nalimutan niya ata.
"oh, you have protection?" umiling naman siya
"you forgot our protection hon!!" i said
"it's okay hon" at nag pokus na ulit kami sa aming ginagawa.
"hmm"he kissed me hungrily like a beast who just eating his prey, he removed every pieces of cloth in my body so now im completely naked.
"Damn maeve" he moaned touching my left breast while he's sucking the other side. his fingers run to my belly down to my wet flesh and then his fingers entered the door of my fleshh
"oh fuck" i moaned loud, idc if anyone hears me i just can't help but moan loud because of this monster pleasuring me.
"baby, it's just my fingers why are you moaning so loud?" he's grinning while saying those words.
i help him to unbutton his pants my hands are shaking because I'm so excited to taste him. it came out like a snake who just came out somewhere
i kiss the tip of it " do you like this? i said grinning then i continue to my business
"ohhhh"
"why are you so good at this" "ohh" magakakasunod na ungol niya
hinila niya ako patayo at hiniga sa kama, he entered my doors without warning i moaned loudly
"ahhh" "Constantine please make me come" i said frustrated because i really want to come
"ohh"
"Damn, we did it many times why are you still so tigh baby" he did it faster and faster until i came then more thrust he came inside of me. we cleaned our selves then back to bed to cuddle then he speak
" i don't use protection because i know you're in pills right?" he said then i remember that i don't take pills na because we always use protection. bigla siyang nagsalit ulit.
" you know i still don't want to be a father it's scares me im just 28 and for me it's too early for that"
"i know hon, I'm taking my pill right so you don't have to worry about it" but a scary feeling felt in my heart i know this has a possibility to have a child because of what happened but what can i do? he doesn't want to have a baby.
"I'm going to sleep, pinagod mo ako masyado" wala pa man ay naiiyak na ako sa naiisip na posibilidad.
"good night hon, sleep well" he said then hindi ko na alam ang susunod na nangyari.
tatlong linggo na rin ang nakalipas may nararamdaman akong hindi kumportable sa sarili ko, walang masakit pero may nararamdaman akong ewan.
"nahihilo ako, pwede ba maupo muna tayo? masyadong mainit" ani ko sa kaibigan ko na si brook
"arte ha, may i remind you na you're varsity sa school natin nung high school at sa arawan pa kayo naglalaro" nagtawanan naman kami
napapaisip na ako dahil simula kanina ay hindi na ako kumportable sa lahat at bigla akong nahihilo, kinabahan na ako sa naiisip ko, maari nga kaya? hindi pa rin ako dinadatnan ilang araw na.
"brook, pwede pabili pt? i think i need to test myself eh" pabulong ko lang na sinabi iyon sa kadahilanang baka may makrinig
"what? no no, you're not!!" reaksyon niya "you're boyfriend is an asshole why did you let him?" halos mag hesteriya siya.dumating na siya at ginamit ko na dalawa na ang ginamit ko pero iisa lang ang resulta.
"hey, we won't tell him about your baby okay? you can get this through, you have me and iyah" she assured me while crying with me, I'm lucky i have best friend like them.
nang nasa loob pa lamang ako ng cubicle ay umiiyak na ako, dahil nakita ko ang dalawang pulang linya. naiisip ko na ang kahihinatnan ng bata at ako na rin saan naman ako pulutin? mabubuhay ko kaya ang batang nasa sinapupunan ko na mag isa sa kakaunting pera na naiwan sakin?
napatigil lang ako sa pagiisip ng biglang tumunog ang sinasakyan ko na elevator na hudyat na nasa tamang palapag na ako. naglakad ako papunta sa kotse ko habang umiiyak pa rin, i love him so much na kahit alam ko na hindi kami parehas ng nararamdaman ay sumugal ako na baka mamahalin niya rin ako, pero hindi nangyare. nagagalit ako hindi dahil sa hindi niya sinuklian ang pagmamahal ko, nagagalit ako sa sarili ko na bakit hinayaan ko na magkaganito.
"you'll be fine without your daddy right? you have to, because it's just you and me" kausap ko pa sa bump ko natawa ako pabahagya dahil para akong baliw.
"I'm so happy right now my baby, I'm crying because I'm gonna have you we will live our life happily without him in our lives" inayos ko ang sarili at umalis na.
i know it will hurt me but i don't want to hurt my child feelings no one has a rights to do that even his father.
"i guess i need to take care of you alone my baby" i said touching my unseen bumps.
