I've Got you Ziam --> kid fic

Part 4

“What was going on through your mind when you two received the news?”

Everything and nothing all at once.

-o-

It’s late June while they’re mid through their first tour, placed somewhere in the East of the United States, when the world around Zayn comes to a complete stop.

Zayn’s not sure what to feel when the news comes in that Liam’s gotten Amber pregnant and she’s five weeks in.

Zayn can still recall the exact same day when Liam had texted Zayn to: cme ovr pls. emergency.

He had never hurried up so fast in his life, leaving his hotel room and rushing over to Liam’s down the hallway.

After Zayn had knocked repeatedly on the door and got no further answer, Zayn had taken measures into his own hands, turning at the knob that had been surprisingly open. The first thing that had managed to grasp his attention was the sight of Liam sat in the middle of the bed, head bowed and staring at his cellular device.

“Liam?” Zayn had asked hesitantly as he quietly shut the door behind him.

 “I fucked up.” Liam had breathed out in broken sobs and Zayn can’t, can’t, can’t just walk out on Liam. He was incapable of it.

Zayn hurried to his side, dipping the bed in the process before enveloping Liam into his arms and Liam’s body immediately went limp in his arms.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Liam’s voice had been nothing but muffled whispers into Zayn’s jumper and Zayn’s heart was straining in his chest, fighting his own urge to let the broken pieces of his heart start to show.

“What happened?” Zayn finds himself asking because Liam’s being far too vague and Zayn thinks maybe he and Amber have broken up. Maybe it didn’t work out.

But it’s all awful wishful thinking.

“She’s pregnant.” Liam sobs out; tightening his grip on the material of Zayn’s flannel shirt and Zayn forgets how to breathe while Zayn all but loosens his grip on the hold he has over Liam.

Zayn wasn’t not sure if he was allowed to be hurt or just be plain angry because how in the hell could Liam of all people be so careless? He was nineteen for god's sake! Liam was nineteen and he shared a career with Zayn and what did this even mean for the both of them? Was this it? Was this the end?

“I’m so sorry.” Liam cries out, calloused hands, from the amount of time he would spend at the gym, pressed into his back.

Zayn still can’t breathe.

“This wa-wasn’t supposed t-to ha-a-ppen. I’m so-so sorry.”

Zayn doesn’t get any proper air in his lungs that night even after Liam’s fallen asleep in his arms but Zayn is left wide-awake with a tear-stained flannel.

"I’m sorry, too.’ Is a chorus that ricochets in Zayn’s mind that entire time.

He maneuvers Liam off of him, tucking him into the Queen sized hotel bed but Zayn needs to find some air, find some reason to be, because right now, he’s losing it.

Without looking back, Zayn clicks the door behind him and makes it out to the roof of the hotel. He needs a cigarette and he needs it now.

But more importantly than that, he needs to pretend that the news Liam has just shared with him is anything but the truth.

Or else Zayn is really going to lose his mind.

~

For the majority of Amber’s pregnancy, she’s not really within sight having decided to stay close to home and it’s easier for Zayn to forget the reality of things and that façade Zayn pulled was toned down some, sharing smiles, hugs, and laughs all towards Liam whenever the cameras were on. Through the photo-shoots, award shows, and award labels engraved with no one but Zayn and Liam’s name, it’s easy to forget that anyone else really exists.

But in those moments where they’d have a two to three day break and Amber would come down, Zayn would feel the consequences of his fooled thoughts, feeling ten times emptier than he’d begun with.

It’s early December and they have exactly two more shows before their first successful tour comes to a close.

It’s rank because while Zayn was set to do his job and nothing more, it was difficult not to let the lyrics of the songs or the sight of Liam’s stares across the stage fool him into thinking that maybe, Liam’s nothing but a façade himself. Maybe Liam’s loved Zayn all along, too. But then the curtains would pull and they’d come off the stage and both lads would just look at one another, no congratulations, no ‘sick job, mate!’, no smiles before they’d go off to their own dressing rooms, pretending the looks from the stage meant nothing to them.

At least Zayn does.

When tour is over and they’ve landed back home, it’s incredible how fast the sleep is gone from Zayn’s eyes the moment he sees a large-bellied Amber nearly waddling over to Liam with such a large smile on her face.

Liam’s at her side in a few quick strides before enveloping her in his arms.

They don’t kiss but they may as well have. The sight of Liam’s sturdy, firm calloused hands never looking so fragile than that moment when he’s rubbing his palm across the growing belly carrying Liam Payne's first child.

And it was never like he hated Amber because, in truth, she was a wonderful person. Light and cheerful filled with beaming smiles and horrid puns that always had Liam laughing in delight because they kind of fit, didn’t they? But Liam was his. Not, like-- Zayn realistically knew he didn’t own Liam but— Liam was his first, as childish as that had sounded. 

Something went wrong along the way, though. Zayn realistically knew that their time.. Liam’s and Zayn’s--it just wasn’t there for them to share anymore. What they once had was something simple and point blank: in the past. And as much as it killed Zayn, he had to get over it. 

He had to get over Liam Payne.