They Can't Hear Me

Four

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Little pig hopes you've been taking care of yourself!

Same Moment

Suddenly she realized she was staring back at herself on the monitor. Having turned her face cam on and the voice changer off, she sat in silence as her anxiety started to peak.

Her eyes flickered everywhere except the camera. She gripped the arm rests of her chairs to hide their shaking. She cracked her neck in a nervous tic.

It was silent for a good 15-20 seconds before she heard an almost inaudible gasp from Technoblade.

"Oh I didn't realize you already turned on your camera. It startled me."

A small smile flickered across her face breifly before she realized that he hadn't even realized she was a girl.

That was resolved a moments later. "Oh wait, you're a girl?"

Her eyes settled on her monitor as her heatbeat raced, taking in her appearance.

"Uh, y-yeah, I'm a girl. Um. S-sorry, I g-guess, for not telling you earlier." Charlie started to curl in on herself, anxiety crawling down her spine.

She, again, heard an almost inaudible gasp right after she spoke. He had heard her real voice, it being a lot more feminine than he was used to. By a long shot.

"I've been, uh, using a voice changer and stuff. So, yeah. It kind of started as a little joke the first time I ever spoke to Dream. Because the first time we actually spoke was on a stream to about 30 of his viewers. I actually forgot I was using it after about 5 minutes though so I never executed the joke." Charlie chuckled awkwardly, feeling more insecure then she ever has before. "And after that stream I told my mom that it was a lot of fun and that I definetely wanted to start streaming myself. She sat me down and told me that the internet could be dangerous and mean, especially for a teen girl. It kind of scared me so I kept using the voice changer. Now when I think of revealing the fact that I've been using it I just get too scared of the hate, so, yeah. This is, well, the true me."

She squeezed her eyes shut. It didn't take long for it to start hurting but she refused to open them. Fear at the thought of rejection. She was trying her best to push the intrusive thoughts out of her mind but a few slipped into her mind anyways.

He will hate you for lying. He will tell everyone else and then they'll hate you as well. You are stupid if you believe they'd be okay with this.

"Oh, okay." His monotone voice rang out. Snapping her eyes open, she gaped at the little icon on her screen.

Did he just say okay? That was it? No anger, yelling, accusations, or even anything? Sure the silence was quite the reaction, it was expected, but he just accepted it?

Charlie couldn't get past the confusion and after a few moments Techno seemed to realize that.

"What? Was I suppose to have a bigger reaction than that?"

The confusion still fogged her mind and she continued to stare at the computer. Her eyebrows repeatedly furrowed as she stuttered out a reply.

"I-I thought you w-would be mad. You are one of the p-people I'm closest to on this server and I've kept t-this from you for months. I've kept it from everyone ever since I met them. Our entire relationsh-hic-ships have been constructed on a lie I told because I was scared."

Tears formed in her eyes. Her vision became blurry. She sniffled a little as her hands shook. The fear and anxiety that she had felt for years over this took over her mind. This wasn't like the normal panic attacks she experienced. This was just all of the pure emotion that she had been compartmentalizing flooding her senses.

Techno was doing his best to comfort her, assuring her that he wasn't mad and the others most likely wouldn't be either. Especially the ones she was closest to like Tommy and the rest of the Dream Team.

His soothing voice told her that her reasons were valid and that she was doing what she could to protect herself, just as any of them would.

Charlie fumbled around for a small pack of tissues she had tossed around her room when her tears dried up.

For people who were incredibly socially awkward and horrible about dealing with emotions, they both had done pretty well. Soon enough, Techno suggested they hop onto the Dream SMP and just do as they normally would so Charlie wouldn't have to be stressed about anything.

So they sat there for the rest of the day, letting their minds drift from the oncoming trip. They made fun of each other and let silence consume them over some parts. Neither even mentioned how she was a girl, letting everything just be normal for the day.

It was only at night time when Charlie was settling into bed did she let herself think about the trip and she realized she wasn't as anxious as before. She knew it was because Techno had remained calm and accepting so she let a small smile drift over her lips, glad she had such great friends.

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Little piggy loves you all!
Mwah <3

947 words - a little shorter than normal but little piggy just wanted to get something out for you guys :)

<3 Thanks for reading! :)

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Little pig now has to say goodbye
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