It's The Innocent That Are Victims

Bold Decisions

When Hazel got out of the shower Easton had dinner ready for them both. Grilled chicken salad.
Hazel hated to admit it but he preferred this style of cooking to what he usually ate at home. It was nice.
Sitting there, freshly showered, in clean close, eating at the table with this man he had to remind himself not to get comfortable. This man could hurt him. This man would hurt him. Had hurt him and surely would again.
But he wanted so badly to just be comfortable for a moment.
Just a moment.
Just a second to relax.
After they ate Easton did the few dishes they had made then started getting ready to head out.
Hazel headed into the room. He didn't want Easton to ask him too. He wanted to pretend for a moment that he had a choice.
He crawled under the covers on the bed and curled into a small ball, tucking his chin down so that only the top of his hair peeked out from under the blankets. After a few moments he heard Easton come in.
The man sat on the edge of the bed and stroked down his back through the covers.
"I left a snack and a few water bottles at the foot of the bed if you want them. Just relax for a while alright? I'll be back in a few hours ok?"
The boy nodded silently.
Easton rubbed his back a few more times before leaning down and kissing the top of his head.
"Ok. I'm gonna go then."
Hazel listened to him walking away, closing and locking the bedroom door, walking through the living room, out the front door, then his footsteps slowly faded away as he trotted down the steps.
The boy lay where he was for a while just thinking.
Maybe this wasn't so bad. Easton wasn't really a bad person. He just had bad moments. But everyone did didn't they? Everyone messed up sometimes. And Easton always made it right afterwards. Always apologized and always comforted him. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Maybe it was ok.
Hazel shook himself out of his thoughts.
Don't be absurd! He's kidnapped you! What about dad! I want to live with dad! I miss dad! I miss him. I want to go home!
...
But if nobody finds me then I'll be alright. It won't be so bad. It would be ok. You would get used to it and it would be ok.
Hazel slipped out of bed and, laying on his stomach, reached under the bed where he had hidden his things.
A pen and some of the old bandages from back when his wrists had to be wrapped.
He didn't have paper but he could write in the tape from the bandages.
He hesitated to do so.
What if it doesn't work? What if Easton finds it? You'll lose all the trust you've been building. He'll be so angry and hurt. And it probably won't work anyway. Maybe I shouldn't.
Indecision and anxiety twisted Hazel's guts together.
He tried to think of something to motivate him. Something that could give him courage to move. To do the things he knew he needed to.
He imagined his dad.
And his mom.
What where they doing now anyway? Where they looking for him? Where they fighting? Maybe his kidnapping had scared them enough to make them work together.
He imagined his family the way it had been. Back when he was little. Before they started fighting all the time. Before every little things was a big deal.
The three of them, happy, together, just being a family.
He very nearly started crying again.
Don't be so weak all the time you stupid baby!
He blinked back the tears and got to work.

∆∆∆∆

When Easton got back Hazel was in bed. The snacks and water were untouched.
He changed out of his street clothes and into sweats and a t-shirt before sliding into bed behind the boy, pulling the teen to himself.
Hazel's eyes flicked open and he craned his neck around to look at him.
"Hey." Easton spoke softly, still feeling somewhat guilty.
"Hey." Came the tender reply. The boy tucked his chin back down under the covers.
Then rested his own chin on top the boys bluish silver hair.
"You didn't eat or drink anything. Did you just lay here the whole time?"
There was silence for a moment.
"I was tired. My head hurt."
There was that guilt again. He reflexively pulled the boy closer, wrapping his arms around his middle.
"I'm sorry Hazel. I shouldn't have hit you when I was angry. Can you forgive me?"
"Easton you make my stomach hurt."
The man hesitated.
"You mean right now? Am I holding too tight?"
He loosened his grip but he really hadn't thought he was holding that tightly.
"No. I mean when you do things sometimes. When you talk to me sometimes. It makes my stomach hurt."
Easton was thoroughly confused.
"What do you mean? Hurts how? Hazey I need an example."
The boy sighed heavily.
"Never mind. It doesn't matter."
Easton rolled the boy to face him. Big eyes met his own for just a moment before looking away.
"Hazel what do you mean? I don't understand."
The boy twisted his hands together between their chests.
"I don't know how to say it. It's like when you don't feel good and someone tries to make you eat and just the thought makes you sick. It feels like that."
Easton was starting to feel worried.
Was the boy sick?
Was he coming down with something?
He had heard there was a stomach bug going around. Maybe the boy had caught it. Would he need medicine? That could get complicated.
He pressed his hand to the boys forehead.
He didn't feel feverish.
"When did you start feeling this way?"
Hazel closed his eyes to think.
"The first time when you kissed me. That's the first time."
There was a long silence.
"When I kissed you, your stomach started hurting?"
Hazel flushed a deep red but nodded.
"What else makes it hurt."
The boy shrugged.
"Sometimes when you talk. When you say weird things."
"Like what?"
He shrugged again.
"When I say weird things? Like when I call you lovely? Or darling?"
Hazel took a shaky and nervous breath and his face crease in a frown.
"I don't like it Easton."
His voice was a quiet whisper.
The man rubbed one hand up and down the boys spine gently.
"It's because you've never been intimate with anyone before. You're just nervous because you're inexperienced."
The boy gripped at Easton's shirt, tucking his chin down and resting his forehead against the mans chest.
"No! I-I really think I just don't- I don't think I like it! Why don't you listen to me?"
Easton was in shock for a moment. Hazel always resisted him. Pulled away, leaned away, looked away. He had never intentionally come towards him. Never grabbed for him. Never leaned towards him.
He knew he needed to treat this moment with tenderness.
He gently hugged the boy, rubbing a hand up his scalp to softly massage the back of his head.
"Hazel I am listening. And I'm trying to understand. But it's as hard for me as it is for you."
The following silence was deafening.
Hazel abruptly pulled back and rolled out of bed.
He glared down at Easton as Easton gazed up at him.
"Nothing's hard for you! You can do whatever you want! I'm stuck in here all the time! Like I'm your dog! But I'm a person Easton! You can't seriously think that what you're doing is ok! It's NOT as hard for you as it is for me! You can leave! You can go away! Im stuck in this damn apartment all the fucking time! The same two rooms all the fucking time! And when you decide to leave I get locked in your fucking bedroom! And I have to stay here until you decide you've had enough space! But you know what I don't get Easton? Space! I don't get any fucking SPACE! So don't tell me you understand because you don't! You kidnapped me! And molested me! You're a criminal!"
He snatched up one of the pillows off the bed and stormed out of the room.
Easton jumped up to follow him.
"Where do you think you're going?"
The teen turned and glared at him.
"I'm sleeping on the couch! Because I'm sure as hell not sleeping with you!"
The man gritted his jaw and worked hard to keep his anger in check.
"You know we were having a conversation before you started yelling. You don't have to yell Hazel. We can talk."
"We weren't having a conversation Easton! You're gaslighting me!"
"I'm trying to make the most out of a bad situation!"
"MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU KIDNAPPED ME!"
The pair glared at each other.
Easton was angry but also confused. He had thought that Hazel was more or less adjusted to his life.
Hazel on the other hand was entirely fed up with his life as a prisoner. He was tired of being afraid and so he was enraged.
"You said you had a grudge with my uncle. That's not my problem! But you made it my problem because you kidnapped me! Supposedly to get back at him! But how am I supposed to get on with my life? You haven't made any demands! You haven't told anyone what you want! And so I'm still STUCK HERE! Getting pushed around, locked up, and beat all the time! What do you want from me! I just want to go home! So what do you want? Do you even know?"
The boys questions where fair, and his anger justified. Easton's reasonable side knew this. But he was also loosing control of the situation.
He had to choose what character he wanted to play.
The Easton who was understanding and nice? This version of himself was the one that cooked, and told light hearted jokes.
The Easton that was manipulative? In this version he was soft spoken, and would apologize in a way that made you feel in the wrong.
The Easton that was powerful? This one he knew Hazel was afraid of. Deathly so. Because in this version of himself he was explosive, looming, and controlling. This is the version that had left countless bruises over the boys body.
What to do?
This was a new problem after all. Hazel had never been so bold.
Maybe it was time for a new character.