She Stayed

Hi Franco!

Limang taon ang nakalipas mula nang makilala ko si Franco. Isa akong medical student noon na nagduduty sa isang public hospital. Franco by then was my surgical resident. I still remember when he added me on facebook during my first month of clerkship (yun ang tawag namin sa 4th year of medical school). Bago pa sa akin ang lahat noon. 24 hour duty, procedures, paper works... lahat. Hindi ko naisip dati kung gaano kahirap ang buhay na pinasok ko noong nag umpisa kong pangaraping maging doctor.

I accepted Franco's request but we never had any interactions. Bilang isang estudyante at "intern" hindi ko kailanman naisip na magkakainteres sa akin ang isang magaling na na doktor.

When I'm about to enter my surgical rotation, kailangan ko nang kausapin si Franco because during that time he was the one in charge sa mga clerks/interns. Well, Franco was a nice guy. He was tall around 6 feet, katamtaman ang pangangatawan, madunong magsalita, mabait sa mga pasyente nya at syempre sa akin.

"Good pm doc, when can we have the courtesy call po? Si Jasmine Ruiz po ito, medical clerk."

"Nakauwi na ako. Pero babalik ako ng hospital in 30 min. Pakihintay nalang"

This was our first conversation.

My rotation at Franco's department went well. Madami akong natutunan at hindi rin naman nya ako pinormahan during those times. May pagkakataon din na nagpasama lang siya sa akin na mag yosi outside the hospital premises and there we had our first personal conversation. Ewan ko ba, sobrang bored ko na siguro noon kakahintay because typically he had two sticks of cigarette per session and I don't smoke.

"Di ba my girlfriend ka doc?" I asked. Franco didn't look at me when he answered, "Meron."

"Bat di pa kayo magpakasal?" He looked down on the floor, lit another cigarette and said, "Di pa ako handa. Sabi ko naman okay lang kung di siya makapaghintay."

I know by then that as a student, well estudyante pa naman talaga ako during those times na hindi ako dapat nag-uumpisa ng mga ganoong kapersonal na tanong but can you blame me? "Ikaw my boyfriend ka?" He asked. "Wala doc. Nagbreak kami bago ako pumasok sa clerkship." And that conversation ended with a phone call.

Franco didn't made any move during my stay on his department. Napaka professional ng treatment niya sa amin although may mga pagkakataon na hindi nya mapigilang ipakita na siguro noong mga panahong yon ay nagkakagusto na sya sa akin, "Doktora matutulog ka ba sa tabi ni Richard?" Referring to my fellow intern and yes, we sleep beside each other kasi yun ang buhay hospital.

"Opo doc." I replied.

"Doon ka nalang sa kabilang bed sa quarters para hindi kayo magtabi." At ako naman na lola nyo masyadong mahiyain at ayaw machismis na baka sabihin ng iba na may relasyon kami ng residente ko so ayun, hindi ako pumayag. Kunwari nalang hindi ko siya narinig.

It was also during my rotation at his department when we had this encounter, " May naupuan ka ata doktora." habang naglalakad kami at medyo nauna ako ng konti sa kanya.

Na conscious tuloy ako sa fitted kong white uniform na hapit na hapit sa pwet ko na obvious na obvious na tinititigan nya. Or one time sa operating room nung binulungan nya ako ng, "Next time huwag kang magsusuot ng mababa ang neckline na scurb suit, dra." at umalis kaagad.

Well, ganyan kami nag umpisa. I just found out he was really into me when he started sending pictures on my messenger kung ano ang kinain nya for today and asks me my whereabouts or kung anong ginagawa ko kung di ako nakaduty. Paminsan minsan lang yan hanggang regular na kaming mag-usap...