ADHD & Me

Chapter 1

        My grandma knew something was wrong with me when I started school, but my parents didn't believe her. Unfortunately for me however, once I was diagnosed they all said I was faking. I was 8 when I was diagnosed. How do you fake a YEAR of testing at 8? Trust me, I wasn't that smart. But at the same time, I was treated like their was something wrong with me.

       They immediately put me in Special Ed, where I stayed until 7th grade. It felt like I had this thing written on my forehead that said "different". My mom set up 504s and IEP's like suddenly It would make it so I was good at school, to make up for not ever being taught any school stuff at home. No time for homework. No time to study. No time to do what I need to to be able to help my disability. But why are you failing?! My dads family just thought I was faking, even when my little brother was diagnosed too. They put me on Strattera soon after being diagnosed. I never noticed a difference in my behavior, but I started getting in trouble a lot less, and stopped having so many violent outbursts. By the time I was in 4th grade I was on 80mg of the meds. The legal max for adults. I started having heart problems that were a direct result of such a high dose at such a young age, that I still have over 8 years later. I even OD'd once. I had forgotten that I had taken it the day before when I was on the 80mg and took the dose again. 160mg, over double the legal limit. I felt like garbage and was practically a zombie all day. I finally noticed what it was doing to me. 

        Then they finally lowered my dose back down and I started to get in trouble again. I was getting bad stomach pains whenever I forgot to take my meds and heart problems when I did. Without anyone knowing I took myself off the medication. I still get the heart problems every once in a while but it's less obvious now. I slowly had to learn how to deal with my ADHD with schooling, but managed to struggle through senior year enough to graduate. Then had to start all over again learning how to deal with work with no memory, no attention span, and a problem with getting half way through a project then getting distracted and starting on another. I have found that being on a set schedule for my day-to-day life really helps me a lot. But with the crazy life I have, that's not always an option. Heck, just last week I was counting the end of day till and my tips and managed to loose a $20 bill.