Natasha Romanoff - Fluff One Shots

Wasted

Well... you definitely drank... something.

I was no secret. You were notorious for always getting insanely drunk at one of Tony's parties. It didn't always used to be this way. You actually used to be a very responsible drinker and never exceeded your limit. However... ever since Carol joined the team and you two became best friends, that's when it all went down hill. Whenever Stark hosted a party, Valkyrie would always make an appearance and she was the missing piece to your trio (well quartet if you include Peter). With a friend like Valkyrie and a bad influence like Carol, it was inevitable that you would become irresponsible with your drink.

It wouldn't be that much of an issue if it was anyone else. It's a party, of course you're supposed to get drunk. Everyone else does, so why can't you? Well... there are different types of drunks. You have the aggressive drunk, who gets violent and lashes out on people for no reason. You have the sleepy drunk, who passes out literally anywhere and stays out for the rest of the night. You have the woozy drunk, who just babbles and talks a load of nonsense all night, maybe stumbling around a little. And then you have you and Carol. The chaotic drunks. You get confident and bold and you cause chaos everywhere you go. Having a drink just give you two an immense amount of energy and you feel like you can do literally anything. For Carol that may be a little more true with her powers and whatnot, but you... you weren't as indestructible as you thought you were after having a few drinks. You two were impossible to control.

Valkyrie had such a high tolerance, being an Asgardian, so she never really reached the point of being 'drunk' at these parties but she didn't mind. She preferred to tempt you and Carol into doing the dumbest things. And the two of you would always do it, no matter how stupid.

Natasha, your girlfriend, wasn't a huge fan of this. She loved that you and Carol had such a strong friendship and she liked how excited you'd get to see Valkyrie every once in a while, but she was well aware of their influence. She would make it her mission to watch your intake at every party to stop you reaching your chaotic state. So much so in fact, that she handed over bar duty to Vision because she needed to keep an eye on you, which she couldn't do if she was serving drinks all night. This decision was made after you and Carol decide to play a game of 'Headers and Volleys' ...with wine glasses. (if you don't know what that is google it I guess... the mental image will make you laugh) You two came away with many cuts and gashes in your heads and feet. So Nat retired from bar duty.

You've done some pretty dumb stuff at Stark parties since your friendship with Carol began. There is actually a list that Peter had put together of all of the things you've done. Peter was also a part of this group yet he wasn't really 'in' it because he couldn't drink, (or at least Tony wouldn't let him, but you'd sometimes sneak him some alcohol from time to time). So he isn't in the 'drinking trio' but he's in the group. He would just enjoy witnessing everything you would do. The list on his notes was pretty lengthy to say the least.

These are only some of the things you and Carol had done:

• You once tried to eat shaving cream because you claimed it looks 'sweet and fluffy like marshmallows'

• You played a game of "Human Hurdles" where you and Carol would select random strangers at the party and the other person would have to jump over them like a hurdle. Only... neither of you can jump very high, so you'd just end up wiping tons of people out.

• You ate a bag of peanut M&Ms.... you're allergic to peanuts.

• You ripped all of the labels off of the tinned foods in all of the cupboards. For weeks after, no one knew what foods were in the cans until they opened them (that one was a slow burner)

• You once stole Bucky's phone. He got Sam to call it. It rang. You denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that you didn't do it... no, you denied that the phone was actually ringing).

• You thought Nat's widow bite wrist-things were tampons....

yeah... let that one sink in.

• You and Carol took Caps shield and tried to sell it back to him

They were just a few of the things that you had done whilst intoxicated. If that doesn't paint a visual picture of your drunk self, I don't know what does. You we're definitely a handful, no wonder you needed to be under such close watch. Tony had even given you and Carol a 3-party ban at one point because you once went around spilling drinks on guests and then saying "You should get out of those wet clothes." and it was scaring his guests away.

But you were back, for the first time in 3 parties and you had promised Natasha that you were going to be more responsible this time. But Val was going to be there. So was Carol. So was Peter. She didn't believe you so she was determined to be within close range of you all night, though you assure her that you were a changed woman. Only tonight will tell...

A/N

I don't usually do A/N's on one shots but i feel like this one called for it. Just so you know, this one is getting a part two obviously.

But i thought this one was really funny to write, i was cackling writing that list, just mentally thinking about each of them. I hope you thought they were as funny as i did lmao... anyways....

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