what i could've done | mashikyu

004

The next day was going by just as slowly as the last. Junkyu dragged himself through his first classes, bored and tired. He had spent the whole night before putting together a proper cover of Palette. His walk home inspired him to finally do something. Of course, that meant he skipped out on the schoolwork to catch up.

Now, Junkyu had a youtube channel dedicated to posting song covers. It was entirely anonymous, but he wanted to finally get comfortable with the thought of others hearing him sing. His decision was impulsive, no doubt. He began to regret it seconds after posting, but he knew he had to thrive off of this determination.

He had gotten quite a few looks from some people in the hallways, but he attributed it to the lack of sleep that was very visible on his face. Junkyu was a mess. His bed hair was quite obvious, and he didn't bother to change out of what he slept in. The most prominent feature was the giant eye bags under his eyes.

Junkyu steps into English late, and by the time he gets there, everyone is already working on their projects. He spots Mashiho and sits down across from him, ready to start talking about their project.

"So, what were you thinking about our project?" Junkyu starts. His eyes flick up to Mashiho's, waiting for an answer.

Mashiho scoffs, looking up from his hands and locks eyes with Junkyu. The smirk on his face is more judgemental than anything, and Junkyu reacts with a confused expression. Did I do something wrong? he wonders. The boy across from him doesn't respond, so Junkyu tries again

"Okay well... I was thinking we could use the book we read, well you haven't yet but we can work on that, and talk about the psychological significance? It's a pretty broad topic and there's a lot of information we can put into it...." Junkyu stops his explanation when he notices Mashiho on his phone, completely disregarding his existence.

Defeated, Junkyu just looks down, writing down his ideas for himself. The rest of the class is like this, complete silence between the two. Junkyu considers asking him a question, but it's clear he won't budge. The more work he did, the more notable the pounding in his head became. The end of class frees him from the prison he walked himself into, and leaves class, once again forgetting about Yedam.

While walking to lunch, Junkyu was feeling gradually more self-conscious with the number of stares. He knew he looked like shit, but he didn't think it was that bad. He hugged himself tighter, hoping to draw less attention. It made him feel slightly safer.

The walk to his lunch table was brutal. He wasn't sure if he psyched himself out or if everyone was truly staring at him, but the pressure in his head started to grow, angry and irritated with Junkyu's endless flow of thoughts.

The static in his brain doesn't subside, instead making him more overwhelmed, almost so much he barely makes it to his table. Five pairs of eyes stare as he crash-lands into his seat, hands flying up to cradle his head as soon as they get a chance. It's worse than usual.

The air around them is tense, no one really sure what to say yes. Hyunsuk speaks up first.

"Hey... are you okay Junkyu?" he asks quietly. Hyunsuk was familiar with this Junkyu. He'd spent many nights trying to help subdue Junkyu when it got bad, and he was really the only friend that did. Junkyu didn't have the heart to tell him it never really helped.

Slowly, he raises his head to sit up properly, bracing himself through the pain. He turns slightly to the others and nods, giving Hyunsuk a small smile. At the other end of the table, Doyoung whispers something to Yedam, who promptly shrugs and gestures in Junkyu's direction.

"I- Um.. is it because of the video?" Doyoung asks uneasily.

That catches his attention.

"What video..?" he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. he doesn't mean for it to come out so quietly, but the pounding in his head is blocking all of his senses.