The Tour

forty-four / i'm just a nobody

Will and I walked out of the church into the blazing late morning California sun. He spent the night in a camper with a couple other boys on tour that he had met before and then watched the first rounds of competition on Saturday. Alani and I breezed through the initial round that established our seeding and then through the first elimination round. It was difficult for me to establish my usual surfing style on the man-made waves, but it was good enough to save me from elimination.

One of Will's baseball friends recommended a church up near the surf ranch in Lemoore, and we decided to try it out during the down time before I resumed competing and Will drove home to give lessons to younger players. The service was good, and Will was now relaxed in the driver's seat with one arm slung over the wheel.

"I don't think that I'm very good at competing for God's glory," I said, filling the silence.

He looked over at me. "How about you say a little more about that."

I chewed on my lip, slightly embarrassed. "I think that I do a lot of it for myself. I remember that people think that I'm one of the best people on tour, and I let that get to my head. Everything becomes about how I need to live up to that, rather than how I should trust in God and remember that he gave me the ability to do everything that I do."

Will nodded and thought for a moment. "That's definitely a difficult thing to change, especially when you're continuously getting recognition for your accomplishments," he paused, "I think that sometimes it helps to remember how small we are. No matter how many titles you win, your time on tour will end and you will potentially become a legend, but eventually forgotten. With that in mind, it becomes a little easier for me to focus on what God can do through me, rather than what I can do by myself. As that song goes, 'I'm just a nobody trying to tell everybody all about somebody who saved my soul'."

Sometimes I was caught off guard by how wise Will could be. He did well in school and I knew that he was a faithful Christian, but he tended to give off a dumb jock persona most of the time. However, he was spot on here. I was too caught up being River Lancer, professional surfer, rather than a kid who's life was changed by Jesus.

"That was good, thanks."

He winked at me. "No problem, I hope that you never have a near-death experience to put things in perspective. Anyway, do you remember why you started going to church with us in the first place?"

I smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I was thirteen and so stressed about my surfing that I couldn't function. Evan had already been going to youth group with you guys, and my mom sent me along with you to see if it might help me. I hadn't been to church since I was eight and my parents made me go to Sunday School. Once surfing got competitive I bailed on the whole thing. I didn't even want to go to youth group after skipping out on church for so long. I felt like I didn't belong there, and that no one would understand me because I was already committed to sports at such a high level. But that was finally a place where I was eventually able to relax and forget about all of the upcoming heats and competitions. That youth group changed my perspective on life, and allowed me to be a person who was defined by who I was in God rather than my surfing. And I met Alani, who showed me that you could have faith and still have surfing."

Will smiled. "See, I think you've learned plenty over the years. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself of those experiences and give yourself a little self-check."

"I'll work on it," I nodded, looking back out at the desert.

"So I think I'll drop you back off at the hotel and then I'll head back to make it to those lessons on time. Do you need anything from the grocery store or anything? Your mom was adamant that I check in on how you were surviving when I talked to her and my mom the other day."

"It's okay, I can walk across the street to the store if I need anything else. I don't want you to be late for the lessons," I paused and smirked, "How often is your mom calling you these days?" I asked.

Will scoffed and gave me a knowing look. "Approximately every two days. She really turned into quite the helicopter mom after the accident, which I understand at all, but it's pretty funny. I mean, I'm not going to starve to death living on my own after surviving college for two years. I'm even wearing sunscreen every day!" He exclaimed.

Rachel had been a relaxed mother for as long as I could remember. The boys would run around the island until late at night during the summers, going night surfing and sleeping on the sides of mountains, and she didn't care as long as they did their chores the next day. However, she had gotten more concerned over the last few months, checking in on Will frequently when he was away.

"I call my dad a lot though. On his way home from work and stuff, and that has been good. We've definitely gotten closer over the past year, and he's a good listener."

I nodded. "I'm happy that you've gotten closer with him. You always used to try to hard to impress him, even when he was always talking about how he was proud of you no matter what."

"It took me a long time to realize that he loved me even if I wasn't trying to play up with Noah's teams and keep up with all of the older kids. But I think I get it now- that none of it matters to him- and I've finally been able to get closer to him without that pressure."

"Well, I'm proud of you," I answered, reaching over and resting my hand on his knee. He slipped his hand under mine and folded his fingers into mine without looking away from the road.

A few minutes later we approached the large wooden gate that led to the surf ranch. "Well, here's your stop. Go get 'em on those man-made waves," Will said while pulling over. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before hopping out of the truck and grabbing my bag from the back seat.

I was turning back to the large honey colored fence and the gate with a passcode when I heard Will call my name.

He was jogging after me, his white baseball cap flipped backwards and in stark contrast with his crimson shirt. "Wait a minute," he said more softly, blocking my way to the gate and pushing me back towards the car.

Will moved his hand past my head to rest on the wall of the truck and pressing his lips to mine. My back leaned up against the door and I ran my hands over his chest as his free hand traced my waist. He moved closer to me, pressing us both against the wall of the car for a moment.

The gate behind us cracked loudly as someone opened it from the inside, causing Will to pull away, breathless and smirking. His brown eyes sparkled against the clear blue sky. I smiled slightly and blushed while removing myself from the warm metal of the car.

"I love you," he said before moving his hand off of the truck and allowing me to move past him.

"I love you, too. I'll see you as soon as possible, but I really need to go surf now."