Haphephobia | bxb

Chapter Nine: Quadruple Shit

WARNING:

CONTAINS SELF HARM, PILLS (NOT OVERDOSE,) AND SWEARING. you have been warned children.

CLOVER'S POV
As I begun walking up to him I tried to grab his arm, but he pulled away, slamming the door shut and yelling:
"CLOVER PISS OFF, OK! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL! YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT A HARD LIFE!"
I flinched. Hard life? Who the fuck does Carlisle think he is?
"I.. I'm sorry.." I whispered, barely audible. I was scared, and cold. Tears begun streaming from my eyes. Carlisle had never yelled at me. Ever. He probably knew how I was feeling, because he leant forward and tried to grab my arm softly, but I flinched. His touch sent tingles through my body. I was looking down, sobbing silently. I walked past him and broke into a run. I was going home, and not talking to him for a week.

When I made it home I locked the doors and ran upstairs. I collapsed onto the bed and begun crying. I needed pain. Something struck me.
'No.. Not again. Don't think about that. Don't.'
When my grandma had died when I was 5, I was really upset.

8 years ago
I sat there at the table, when the front door opens. It's Dad. He's home. I don't look up at him, but he walks over.
"Where's Mum?" He asks.
"I..In h-her room.." I mutter.
I hear Dad walk up the stairs. A few minutes later I hear crying. It was Mum. I didn't know what to do. I'd cry whenever I got touched by anyone. Unless it was my Grandma. Nana was a lovely person. Dad and Mum came downstairs a few moments later and sat down opposite the table.
"Uhm.. Clover.. We need to talk to you about something.." Dad seems scared. Did I do something really bad?
"C.. Clover look at your Dad please when he's speaking to you.
I look Dad in the eyes as best as I can.
"So.. Clover.. you know how when someone goes away.. But they don't come back?"
They mean death. Whose died? And why has it made Mum cry?
I nod meekly, and Dad continues talking.
"So.. today, I got a call from one of Nana's nice neighbours, saying Nana hadn't been out of her house for a while.." Dad's voice breaks, and he's trying hard not to cry. I can tell. Mum rubs his back gently. It's her turn to speak now.
"What Dad's trying to say here is.. well.. Nana's.. Nana's passed away." Now Dads crying softly. I freeze, and recite the words in my head.
'Nanas passed away... Nana's passed away... Nana's-'
I run upstairs and into my room. I lock the door and slide under my bed. I cup my ears and go into panic mode. There's this loud, loud ringing in my ears, and it hurts. My vision goes blurry.
'Nanas passed away.. Nana's passed away... Nana's passed away... Nana's passed away...' The words won't stop spinning, and every inch of my body is shaking violently. I clench my fists and feel my nails dig into my skin. The pain hurt at first, but then it stopped. I liked it. I dug them in deeper, and soon they begun bleeding. They turn purple, then crimson red. Purple, crimson red. Purple, crimson red. A few minutes later I felt my left arm stinging painfully. There are blood marks all across my left arm. So deep yet so small. I sit up and change into my pyjamas. I then go to sleep.

Present
I sat there, feeling like shit. I got no sleep, and couldn't go back to sleep, and didn't want to go to school. Yet I get up, do my usual routine, and try not to think about what's gonna happen today. I turn on my music through my headphones and play it on full volume. I walk into the kitchen and look on top of the fridge for Panadol, as I've got a splitting headache. My eyes skim across Antidepressants. I freeze. I grab the blue bottle, and stare at it. I read it. Take ONE pill. Do NOT take more than ONE in a 6 (six) hour period. I sigh, then unscrew the lid of the blue-coloured-bottle and take out 1 pill. I place it on the counter and grab a glass of water. I swallow the pill and after 20 minutes I feel fine. Weird, but fine all the same. I grab my lunch and stuff it in my bag before locking the front door and walked to school. I sat down in my usual spot and continued listening to music whilst reading, when I saw someone walk up to me. I looked up and felt my heart skip a beat. Carlisle.

"Clover.. I.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.." I didn't say anything. "A.. are you mad?"

I looked back down at my book and kept reading. My glasses slipped down my nose and before I could push them back up Carlisle leant forward and grabbed them, holding them up high.

Shit. I can't see without them. "Carlisle give them back!" I jump on my tippy toes, which didn't end well because I fell forwards into Carlisle's chest. He quickly wrapped his arm's around me and held me close to him. I felt him smiling into the top of my head. I wanted to pull away, but also stay like this way forever. But all good things come to an end.

"Oi! Quit making out at school will you?" I heard someone yell. Double shit.

It was one of my bully's. I pulled away, and saw Carlisle stand in front of me.

"Aww.. Does little short boy need protecting from his boyfriend-wannabe?" The other boy's cackled loudly at the leaders remark.

"Heh. Clearly you don't remember what happened last time you beat up Clover, do you? Want me to jog your memory up, do you?" Carlisle smirked. Triple shit.

They all looked clueless. Suddenly Carlisle pulled out his knife. QUADRUPLE SHIT!

"Oh shit.. Boys lets get outta here." They all scrambled away, stumbling over stuff in the way.

"Carlisle I'm so-"

Well fuck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BITCHES IM BACK! IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! I KNOW IM AN ASSHOLE!

But guess WHAT!

I found out what day is Yeet Day. 29th of March. I think we're passed March tho.

But also guess what.

i'm a bitch. byeee.

1074 words.