hallucinate

chapter one

Today was the typical day.

Eat
Go to support group
Most likely see Dr. Yarrington after for being my fucking self and not speaking
Eat
Recess
Eat
Shower
Sleep

I finally opened my eyes and I was blinded with the white color everywhere.

white

Ugh. I hated that color. White.

If you put me in a mental institute or hell i should say, you might as well put some color. Well, more like darker colors.

Black

I liked black. It reminded me of my soul. Dark and cold.

"You should get up Helena. Before they find you."

I jolted out of bed. Standing there was Mortmain. He was the only one I could trust. He was my friend you could say.

No

Not a friend. More like an acquaintance.

I quickly nodded to Mortmain and went to the restroom. I turned and looked in the mirror. Bad choice. My black hair was a tangled mess and the bags under my eyes were growing. I tried remembering what I used to look like, where I used to live, or anything before coming to Blackstone. Its like there was a block in my mind that I just couldn't get past. I finished my business in the restroom and left for the cafeteria.

Make a left down the hall, 10 steps and then make a right, 13 steps then make another left turn, 8 steps.

I practically was a GPS of the building. I never got lost. I knew it just like how I knew Gerard's 'signs from the universe' coming from is cereal in the mornings where never true. Everyday Gerard would look into his cereal and somehow see a 'sign'. All I saw was soggy fruit loops floating around and starting to color the milk.

"Hi Helena!"

I turned around and I was faced with a giggly and hyper Gerard.
I just waved and pushed past him.

I sat down at my table and looked down at the shit they gave us that was so called 'food'. I silently laugh. The 'food' they serve us here is garbage. I push it away.

"Hey Helena."

I look up and I see that Luke, Ray, Mikey, Calum, Ash, Bob, Lindsey, and Michael sit down.
I just smile and take out my pencil and drawing pad. 'Smile'. Please, I don't smile. I don't even remember if I ever have. I start sketching random lines. The lines turn into scribbles. The scribbles turn into gashes. I then realize I'm drawing my own arms. I never knew where the gashes came from.

I guess I'll never know where they came from.

I walk into the 'circle room' and sit down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs made for 6 year olds that can I barely fit my ass onto. People start filing into the room and then Dr. Yarrington comes in.

"I hope you all had a good breakfast, now does anyone want to start? Gerard how about you start!"
"I had a message in my cereal today! It said that someone new might be coming!"

I roll my eyes. No one new would be coming. All I knew is that I would most likely be staying for the rest of my life cause I'm such an awful fuck like that. I don't even know why I'm in this asylum.

What did they even think was wrong with me?
Why was I here?

Well it looks like I'll never get those answers.