50/50

Chapter 1

Minho watched as you picked up the corn cob, placing it gingerly in the basket on your arm, moving onto asparagus sprouts. How own hands are empty, not yet having decided on the groceries he craves that week. Instead he watches, from the irritated skin on your wrist to the focus of your eyes as you inspect potato bags in the next stall over. He's just a neighbour from the same apartment complex, he's seen you a handful of times at most before the current week yet since he started noticing your steps he can't seem to stop.

You breathe out heavily, adjusting the basket on your forearm and he stills, frowning when you readjust the woven handle once more along your arm. There's a coloured faintness there, and traces of fingerprints that make his stomach twist inside out uneasily. He knows your name, as of a few days ago. It looks like it aches. It's still an urgent boundary to cross, what he's about to suggest.

"You could stay the night with me, if you want. If that'd be easier." He's only a step behind you, having followed you quietly down most of the farmers' market now. The sunhat he recognises you from by now bounces among the sea of hagglers on a wednesday morning. "I know fights in relationships can be rough, so if you need a place to crash for the night, my couch is free."

You wish you could tell him how much you cannot possibly do that, but Minho's offer is so innocent and well-intended you don't have the heart to outright decline. "Thank you, Minho, but we're fine. I'll be alright."

He doesn't need to read into your smile to understand the rejection, trying not to let it phase him at the implication you'd be going home again that night. He knew better than to ask if you needed help carrying your bags after the first time he'd offered and your knuckles turned white.

"Alright. But you know my flat number if, right? If something happens."

"If something happens." You promise, and leave him with a nagging sense of discomfort as your dress fades into the morning crowds.

***

You don't think of doing it as you enter the concrete building block and pass the elevator to the staircase. It would be too inappropriate, too out of the question to even consider. A night at another person's house? At another man's house, even more so! No way would you consider breaking a rule like that. You couldn't step out of line like that. Yet as you passed the third floor, one you now knew held the possibility of the unexplored, you hesitated for a moment.

No, surely it wouldn't be worth the scolding you'd get after. Would you even be able to sit still for an hour, without twitching? The handprint shaped bruise on your wrist still aches dully with the weight of the food basket as you open the door to your shared apartment two floors higher. You no longer notice the relief that sags your shoulders when you realise the house is empty apart from your own presence. You take in the respite of silence while unpacking the vegetables, trimming the corn cob for stir fry later in the evening. It's followed by bamboo shoots and chicken breast, which you've just about got simmering when the front door clicks open.

You hear him before you see him, taking as long as you can to plate the food before turning to face the man you shared a home with. He doesn't return it, eyes glossing over you to inspect the dinner plate you slide before him.

"You know I prefer rice noodles." He tuts out, frowning. His feet come up to rest on the other chair, but you weren't going to sit at the table anyway, opting to linger by the counter. "And beef, your chicken sucks."

He chews loudly, groaning as if to make sure you're aware of your culinary inadequacy, but his face never lifts from the plate. He wasn't wrong, really. Your cooking was barely edible enough to provide nutrition and you didn't know how to make it better.