girlfriend, TsukiYama

𝟙𝟞

It's been a week since I told Tadashi that I was actually male and almost nothing has changed. I was glad it didn't. Sure, he now used different pronouns for me whenever we were alone or spending time at my place but the rest stayed the same. 

We would still spend every minute together and would cuddle and just do everything we did before. When we were at his place, we would kiss from time to time so his parents wouldn't get suspicious but we wouldn't do it otherwise. We had no reason to. Sure, it was nice to kiss someone but I didn't crave it so why should we? 

But over time, something changed. Now that Tadashi knew I was a guy, there was an actual chance of us falling in love and that was exactly what I was doing at the moment. It started with me getting more and more clingy and affectionate, which Tadashi didn't mind. But soon, I wanted to spend every second with him. I knew that I probably shouldn't let myself fall but this whole fake-dating situation made this very hard. By now, I couldn't imagine life without Tadashi and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 

The realization that I had developed a crush on my best friend hit me like a truck and since then, I have thought about it 24/7. What was I going to do? I couldn't possibly tell him and ruin our friendship. Besides, he needed me to be his fake girlfriend. Confession would just ruin everything. But I couldn't just do nothing. I couldn't just keep back my feelings. Tadashi would realize sooner or later and I just hoped that it was later rather than sooner. 

Hiding my feelings from Tadashi was easier than I thought. He didn't suspect anything and our friendship was stronger than it ever was. His parents believed us more and more and finally stopped doubting our relationship. 

My mother on the other hand immediately realized my feelings and would try to convince me to confess all the time. It got annoying and I desperately hoped Tadashi wouldn't hear it. If he did, everything would go downhill and I surely didn't want that to happen. I just had to keep my feelings for me. At least for now.