This is the final chapter for this book.
Like I've said in the previous chapters I need whoever is reading to comment.
The more comments I have, the more frequently I will update, and the more I will keep writing.
The second book, continueing on after this one, will be more spontanious and way longer.
I'm getting a lot of ideas from just sitting back and watching some of my class mates who have kids.
But like I said beforreeee I wont continue if nobody is reading.
So if you're reading please comment so I know to continue on!!!
Here's the last Chapter for you.
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Sky's P.O.V.
The feeling I had when I died in the hospital.
I cant explain how amazing I felt. I longed for the feeling again, and I started getting it back, every night I went out and got messed up. The drugs paused my mind, and made me relax. I couldnt stand being around Brodie unless he was smiling. Even when he was screaming, I had learned to block it out so I couldnt hear him.
I walked over to my dresser, opening up the bottom shelf, and grabbing a notebook I had. I'd been keeping notes on Brodie ever since he was born, and never told anyone. I turned to the last open page in my notebook and grabbed my pencil slowly.
I wrote a few words then erased them. I did this atleast ten times until I started to write, and didnt stop. I let the pencil take over, and just spilled my mind out onto the peice of paper.
"Dear Whoever Is Listening,
My name is Skylar, and I have a five month old son name Brodie Todd. When I got pregnant Brodie's dad left, my best friend Dean. I was heart broken for weeks, months even. My chest hurt and I felt so alone. But when I had Brodie something happened. I died for seven minutes, while having a c-section. I cant describe the feeling I had. It was calming, peaceful, nothing was wrong and nothing was ever going to be wrong again.
Whoever said nothing in the world is perfect, didnt know what they were talking about. This feeling, was perfect.
I've been searching over and over again to find that feeling again but I cant find it. I will get tiny faint feelings of it but its not the same as feeling the actually perfect feeling I had that day. Im addicted to this feeling of carelessness that I had. And I want it back.
My son's father thinks im a horrible mother, and I never claimed to be a great one. I love my son, more than anything in the whole world. He laughs at almost anything, and he's always happy, no matter what happens to him. He could hit his head and be crying but laugh a few minutes later. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And the thought of leaving him hurts me so bad, but I cant be a good mother to him if im constantly searching for a feeling that I cant have, instead of paying attention to him.
