I'm Sorry... (A Nouis FanFiction)

Chapter 12

*please don't start the song until I tell you*

NIALL'S POV

"...Harry?"

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"Niall where the hell are you?" He yelled through the phone.

"Harry," I paused deciding wether I should or shouldn't tell him what was going on, "I can't really tell you all that happened right now. I swear when I get home I'll tell you everything but right now I've got to go. Bye Harry." I quickly hung up the phone, not letting Harry talk. After all, I didn't really want to talk to him right now. Just look at what he just told me.. You know how I told you that he's changed since he told me he fancied me? Well it looks like he thinks something more than that is going on between us. He's all controlative and always wants to know what I'm doing. He acts like my boyfriend, a clingy one to be honest.

"Niall?" Louis called from behind me. I turned around and saw him weakly smiling at me. "Can I talk to you?" I nodded and walked up to him.

"But, I think it's best if we do it later. It isn't good if you keep talking, you've got to get some rest. Plus, I thought you were sleeping!" I laughed. He chuckled weakly and nodded, saying "You're right. Can you take me home?"

"Yeah, sure! We can talk there if you want." I placed my hand on top of his and gently stroked it with my thumb while he fell asleep.

The whole time Louis was asleep, I was playing games on my phone and watching tv until I heard him moving and looked over at him.

"Are you ready to go Lou?" I asked. He nodded. I walked over to him and helped him get up. "Here, I brought you some clothes and a pair of Vans." He grabbed them from my hand and thanked me, putting his pants on below his hospital gown. When he was done, he took the gown off and revealed the toned abs I hadn't seen in a while. I smirked and looked down at my phone pretending to use it while he put his shirt on to prevent getting any... tight pants.

We walked out of the hospital and into my car. It was pretty dark outside, considering that it was almost 2 am. While I drove to Louis' house, I turned up the radio and It's All Okay started playing.

*don't play the song yet*

We finally arrived at his house and walked up to his room. We sat on the bed, facing each other. "So... you said you wanted to talk to me?" I asked.

"Oh yeah...' he sighed. "This is gonna be pretty fucking long, but please don't interrupt me." He played with his thumbs, looking down at them.

LOUIS' POV

I was really nervous to tell him everything I felt.

*start song now*

"You know, sometimes, I get this urge to talk to you, and then I remember that you're a different person now. It's just sad because I miss you a lot. No matter how hard I try, I know that I won't be able to do anything to make it up to you. And I still keep going because you are the most important person in my life and I know I'm not important in anybody's life, especially yours. All I want is to be good enough for someone, but I know that I'll never be. I can't help but feel unwanted, like nobody will ever love me enough for them to stay. I'm just stuck under the idea that people will get tired of me and eventually leave, like what others did... Like what you did. Like sometimes I think, 'maybe I'm the problem' but I'm scared to let people know that I'm not always okay. I act like such a happy person, but deep down I'm not. I know people have it worse than me, but I still have troubles of my own."

"Lou-"

"Please. Let me finish." I cut him off and kept talking. "It's kinda fucked up isn't it? How someone all of a sudden decides to never talk to you again. No words. They just leave you hanging there like you never meant shit to them and what hurts the most is how they made it look so easy. You know what hurts the most? Having to pretend it doesn't hurt at all. All the time, I'm just like Niall please come back. I wish you were here with me. Don't you remember when you were? I feel so alone. Do you know how many fucking times I've cried for you? I mean, I can't stop myself from liking you, or thinking about you. You are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I think that's cliche from somewhere but it's completely true. But then I realize that I'm holding onto someone that isn't mine anymore. People change, and we can try all day long, but we just can't prevent it. But I mean, who would be in love with me?" I chuckled foolishly. "You don't know pain until you're staring at yourself in the mirror with tears streaming down your face, like the ones on ours right now, right?" I cleared my throat to prevent my voice from cracking. "Anyways, you're begging yourself to just hold on and be strong. But I just don't think I can do that anymore. I avoid eye contact with people in public. I cry in the shower, letting my tears mix with the water so nobody can see me. And it gets worse at night. I wait until everyone is asleep so I can let out my cries. I don't want anybody to see me so broken, but it doesn't matter because nobody cares. Everything's fucked. You know that day that you told me to never talk to you again?" I chuckled, "yeah, that damn day. My whole life, it was just torn apart because you mean everything to me and I lost you. I didn't think I could ever get you back. Nobody knows how much I cried that day. Have you ever been in one of those moods where you just want to grab everything and rip it from the walls and break everything because you feel broken and you want to scream and kick and cry because nothing feels right and it's all wrong and you don't feel right and I don't even know anymore. I guess that's just what led me to try to take my life away."

"Stop!" Niall cried. He covered his face with his hands. "Just... stop Louis." He mumbled into his hands. "You don't even know what I have to go through. I think about you everyday asshole." He removed his hands to reveal a sobbing face. "My life, it's just a mess. I don't even know what I feel anymore. Harry practically rapes me every night that he gets drunk and I can't do anything about it. I just wish to get out of there everytime. I always beg for him to stop but he doesn't listen to me and just keeps going."

"I'm so sorry, Niall." I placed my hand on his knee but he jumped up, looking scared so I brought my hand back to myself.

"See, this is what Harry has done to me. I can't trust anybody anymore. He's made me afraid of everybody. Whenever somebody even touches me, I get scared; scared that it's him. That he's going to keep doing these things to me." He cried out. "I have nightmares almost every night, and I wake up crying. I can't go to anybody for help because nobody's there for me." I hugged him really tight, calming him down.

I let go. "So, are we friends again?" I asked hopefully. He bit his lips.

"I just need some time to think, Louis." He got up and was about to exit the door before turning back at me and saying, "Goodnight, I hope you get better," then exiting the door. I ran my hand through my hair. Enough for one night. I took off my shoes and went to bed.

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UEIIIIIIIIIKYFBEOIANYLUKYUEry idek. So I haven't updated in 3 months ._. I'm so sorry. I don't really have an excuse, I would tell you but idk. I'm so sorry I haven't updated but here it finally is! :) I really hope you enjoy this chapter and I will be updating more often. Sorry for those of you who waited so long! Please fan, vote, and comment what you think! :)

BooBearTheTommo :)xxx